hitecbill
04-18-2006, 02:13 PM
;)
developer tips for survival...
1. Never ever write a line of code that someone else can understand.
2. Make the simplest line of code appear complex. Use long names.
Don't ever code "a=b", rather do something like
AlphaNodeSemaphore=*(int)(&(unsigned long)(BetaFrameNodeFarm));
3. Type fast think slow.
4. Never use direct references to anything ever. Bury everything in
macros. Bury the macros in include files. Reference those include files
indirectly from other include files. Use macros to reference those
include files.
5. Never include a comment that will help someone else understand your
code. If they understand it they don't need you.
6. Never code a function to return a value. All functions must return a
pointer to a structure, which contains a pointer to a value.
7. Never discuss things in concrete terms. Always speak in abstract. If
they can understand you they don't need you.
8. Never complete a project on time. If you do they will think it was
easy and anyone can do it and they don't need you.
9. When someone stops by your desk to ask a question, talk forever but
don't answer the question. If they get their questions answered they
don't need you.
10. Never clean your office. Absolutely never throw away an old listing.
11. Never say hello to anyone in hallway. Absolutely never address anyone
by name. If you must address someone by name, mumble or use the wrong name.
Always maintain the mystique of being spaced out from concentrating on
complex logic.
12. When you are having lunch at the office-canteen, never fully
concentrate on your lunch. Try to get absent minded suddenly in the
middle of the lunch and say to your colleague something like: 'But I
don't think that data page was actually locked by another RX call, rather
I see the possibility of a wrong access mode.' Otherwise they will think
you are not serious about your job and then they won't need you.
developer tips for survival...
1. Never ever write a line of code that someone else can understand.
2. Make the simplest line of code appear complex. Use long names.
Don't ever code "a=b", rather do something like
AlphaNodeSemaphore=*(int)(&(unsigned long)(BetaFrameNodeFarm));
3. Type fast think slow.
4. Never use direct references to anything ever. Bury everything in
macros. Bury the macros in include files. Reference those include files
indirectly from other include files. Use macros to reference those
include files.
5. Never include a comment that will help someone else understand your
code. If they understand it they don't need you.
6. Never code a function to return a value. All functions must return a
pointer to a structure, which contains a pointer to a value.
7. Never discuss things in concrete terms. Always speak in abstract. If
they can understand you they don't need you.
8. Never complete a project on time. If you do they will think it was
easy and anyone can do it and they don't need you.
9. When someone stops by your desk to ask a question, talk forever but
don't answer the question. If they get their questions answered they
don't need you.
10. Never clean your office. Absolutely never throw away an old listing.
11. Never say hello to anyone in hallway. Absolutely never address anyone
by name. If you must address someone by name, mumble or use the wrong name.
Always maintain the mystique of being spaced out from concentrating on
complex logic.
12. When you are having lunch at the office-canteen, never fully
concentrate on your lunch. Try to get absent minded suddenly in the
middle of the lunch and say to your colleague something like: 'But I
don't think that data page was actually locked by another RX call, rather
I see the possibility of a wrong access mode.' Otherwise they will think
you are not serious about your job and then they won't need you.