Favourite quotes

[scragar]

What's your favourite quote?

Post it here, If I think it's good enough I'll add it to a simple peice of ASP and introduce a quote of the day image(in my sig), you can simple copy the code(and link) and use it yourself if you wish.

Here are a few I've got to get us started:

"Computers are useless. They can only give you answers."
Pablo Picasso.

"To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer."
Paul Ehrlich.

"if your not living on the edge, your taking up to much space"
???

"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious."
Alan Minter

[gorky]

Um... If you need quotes, I can send you a word doc I have compiled of about a thousand of them. I enjoy collecting tidbits of history. Some of my favorites are the three in my sig (see below) but my most favorite is as follows from Henry Miller's "Tropic of Cancer":

"Once I thought that to be human was the highest aim a man could have, but I see now that it was meant to destroy me. Today I am proud to say that I am inhuman, that I belong not to men and governments, that I have nothing to do with creeds and principles. I have nothing to do with the creaking machinery of humanity-I belong to the earth! I say that lying on my pillow and I can feel the horns sprouting from my temples." (Henry Miller)

-Gorky

[theuedimaster]

"I understand your incompetence; igonorance is bliss, isn't it?"

For those who hear not the music think the dancer's mad. -Anonymous

E.B. White said, “Every morning I awake torn between a desire to save the world and an inclination to savor it. This makes it hard to plan the day.� But if we forget to savor the world, what possible reason do we have for saving it? In a way, the savoring must come first.

Solitarie almost never crashes. They should employ the person who wrote it to head the WinNT team.

[Charles]

When people ask "What would Jesus do?":

"[G]o, sell what you own, and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; then come, follow me." (Mark 10:21b NRSV)

When people try ot out proof-text me:

"I will accept no bull from thy house." (Psalm 50:9a RSV)

[PeOfEo]

I like this one:
"And the man said, The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat. - KJV GENESIS 3:12"

It is the woman's fault.

[MstrBob]

"You know, I rather like this God fellow. Very theatrical, you know. Pestilence here, a plague there. Omnipotence ... gotta get me some of that."

"HA! That's so funny I forgot to laugh... excluding that first Ha."

and:

"I have a spelling checker
It came with my PC;
It plainly marks four my revue
Mistakes I cannot sea.
I've run this poem threw it,
I'm sure your pleased too no,
Its letter perfect in it's weigh,
My checker tolled me sew."

-Janet Minor

[gorky]

"I sometimes wonder if the manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things." (Alan Coren)

"Patience serves as a protection against wrongs as clothes do against cold. For if you put on more clothes as the cold increases, it will have no power to hurt you. So in like manner you must grow in patience when you meet with great wrongs, and they will then be powerless to vex your mind." (Leonardo da Vinci)

"There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics." (Benjamin Disraeli)

"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers." (Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943)

-Gorky

[Jick]

Well I like one that I heard recently.

"Guns don't kill people. Husbands that come home early do."

:p

[Jupac]

Friends dont let freinds use IE

[gorky]

Originally posted by Jupac

Friends dont let friends use IE YES!

[MstrBob]

Another Family Guy Quote:


Bob: Outrageous, How dare he say such blasphemy! I've got to do something!
Man #1: Bob, there's nothing you can do.
Bob: Well, I guess I'll just have to develop a sense of humor.

[Mr Initial Man]

(Bob Hope and Lana Turner are frying a steak onstage)
Bob Hope: Lana, this is dangerous. If the audience sees steak, they'll come right up here after it.
Lana Turner: Oh, I don't know. They've seen ham all evening and you're still here.

Schoolmate (don't recall name)
I'm an atheist, I swear to God."

From the (currently inactive) webcomic "Rae of Darkness" (http://raeofdarkness.keenspace.com/) by Rob Tuffley and Jason Lander:
"You've seen it happen... you're kicking back, enjoying drinks with your friends... when one of them has had maybe just a tad too much. Next thing you know, he's up on stage, belting out an embarressing rendition of some old eighties tune. Please, for the love of GOD don't let this happen to you or anyone else. Friends don't let friends karaoke.
--Thank you.

[gorky]

Originally posted by MstrBob
Another Family Guy Quote: Here's one of my favorites, said by Stewie. (BTW I love that little "pitterpatter" sound they use when he walks"

"And the Lord said to Isaac, 'You shall kill your brother', and Isaac said 'I'm sorry I cant hear You, You'll have to talk into the microphone', and the Lord said 'Oh I'm sorry, is this better, check check, one, two... surely can you bring the boom up on this thing, I'm still getting a little hiss back here'"

-Gorky

[gorky]

Wait... I'm not sure if it was Isaac. Now that I think of it, it probably was Abraham. I'll break out the DVD and check.

-Gorky

[gorky]

"And the Lord said unto John; Come forth and receive eternal life. But John came fifth and won a toaster"

-Gorky

[hooloovoo24]

"He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife."--Douglas Adams

"Oh, they have the internet on computers now?"--Homer Simpson

And my personal favorite, from the show Red Dwarf:

Lister: What do you think of Wilma?
Cat: Wilma Flinstone?
Lister: Yeah.
Cat: I think that in all probability, Wilma Flinstone is the most desirable woman who ever lived.
Lister: Yeah...What do you think of Betty?
Cat: Betty Rubble? Well, I'd go with Betty...but I'd be thinking of Wilma.
Lister: This is insane. This is a totally and completely insane conversation.
Cat: I know.
Lister: Why are we talking about going to bed with Wilma Flinstone? She'd never leave Fred and we know it.

There might be a few mistakes in there, but I can't exactly pull out the DVD right now, so feel free to correct me.

[gorky]

"Neque porro quisquam est qui dolorem ipsum quia dolor sit amet, consectetur, adipisci velit..."

Though I'd like to see Jona's translation, I believe the actual translation is:

"There is no one who loves pain itself, who seeks after it and wants to have it, simply because it is pain..."

-Gorky

[Mr Initial Man]

If you make something foolproof, someone will come up with a better fool.

[jeff_archer7]

That is not dead
which can eternal lie
yet with strange aeons
even death may die

edgar alan poe




For those of us about to die
We salute you

ceasars henchmen

[scragar]

http://c.1asphost.com/DailyQuotes/img.asp

[gorky]

"Formerly when great fortunes were only made in war, war was business; but now when great fortunes are only made by business: Business is war!" (Christian Nevell Bovee)

"It is easier to laugh than to face one’s own ignorance." (Confucius)

"The passions that drive us should be the ones we respect and admire. To feel contempt for one’s own motivations is a vulgar thing." (Jhonen Vasquez)

"Mellon pulled the whistle
Hoover rang the bell,
Wall Street gave the signal,
And the country went to hell."
(Anonymous)

"My motto is, 'Destroy by all and any means.' National Socialism will reshape the world." (Adolf Hitler)

"The society which scorns excellence in plumbing because it is a humble activity and tolerates shoddiness in philosophy because it is an exalted activity will have neither good plumbing nor good philosophy. Neither its pipes nor its theories will hold water." (John W. Gardner)

-Gorky

[theuedimaster]

Originally posted by jeff_archer7

For those of us about to die
We salute you

ceasars henchmen

Very cool.

[Mr Initial Man]

"...more crap in it than a Carnival Port-A-John" - Scott Ruhl.

[jeff_archer7]

"Let me put my love into you babe
Let me put my love on the line
Let me put my love into you babe
Let me cut your cake with my knife"

Brian Johnson

[Ben Rogers]

Originally posted by MstrBob
"I have a spelling checker...My checker tolled me sew." Agh! There's a poster of that on my computer class wall, and like all things associated with my computer class, it's thoroughly hated by me.

"Sleeping is giving in, no matter what the time is." - Rebellion, by The Arcade Fire.

"...and 300 instances of OMG TOILET." - one of the quotes on Bash (http://www.bash.org/).

"your mokey looks like its wanking" - Dave. Anyone who knows him can guess which one I mean.

"shoot you with my axe" - A bit of conversation overheard one time in school.

NOTE: All quotes out of context.

[hooloovoo24]

A guy came up to me and asked "What's punk?" so I kicked over a trash can and said "That's punk." So he kicked over the trash can and said "That's punk?" and I said, "No, that's trendy." --Billie Joe Armstrong (from Green Day)

[Tim Finnegan]

I've got two favourite quotes written by two Argentinian writers called Liliana Bodoc and Alejandro Dolina. I'll try to translate them for you...

Liliana Bodoc wrote:If you take a closer look to it, pain is like winter. Some day it leaves and you realize that it was usefull
Alejandro Dolina wrote:The Univers is a perverse inmensity made of absence. You're nowhere almost all the time. However, between the infinite desolations there's a good new: love


The originals:
Liliana Bodoc wrote:Si la miras bien, la pena se parece al invierno. Un día se vá y tú te das cuenta de que sirvió de algo.
Alejandro Dolina wrote:El universo es una perversa inmensidad hecha de ausencia. Uno no está en casi ninguna parte. Sin embargo, en medio de las infinitas desolaciones hay una buena noticia: el amor.

If there's someone really capable of translating them well, I'll appreciate the help.

[PeOfEo]

<Dr_DOS> Tupac Shakur sounds like a Protoss name.

[Ben Rogers]

A true classic, which I forgot last time:

"..." - Vivi Ornitier of FFIX. ;)

[MstrBob]

"You, bring me the Wall Street Journal! You two, fight
to the death!"

[Ben Rogers]

Stewie pwns. ;)

"I shall split the pie in half, and both of you shall receive... death. I'll eat the pie."

[Exuro]

"In multitudes of important derivations, in both maths and physics, we find imaginary roots and solutions literally dropped off or disregarded, just because they are not real. Disregarding imaginary components in the physical world has serious consequences..."

&mdash;Blaze Labs Engineer

[Tim Finnegan]

It is ridiculous claiming that video games and internet influence children. For instance, if Pac-man affected kids born in the eighties, we should by now have a bunch of teenagers who run around in darkened rooms and eat pills while listening to monotonous electronic music.

[jeff_archer7]

Originally posted by MstrBob
"You, bring me the Wall Street Journal! You two, fight
to the death!"

LOL...... I loved that episode... He is the funniest cartoon dog in all the world

[Ben Rogers]

Originally posted by jeff_archer7
LOL...... I loved that episode... He is the funniest cartoon dog in all the world Thought Stewie said that...

The fat-but-not-fattest guy in animal house is awesome (no, I couldn't be bothered to remember his name). :p

[jeff_archer7]

Originally posted by Ben R.
Thought Stewie said that...


Yes He did..... wasn't the dog at all.....

I ph4rk3d up

[PeOfEo]

Originally posted by Tim Finnegan
It is ridiculous claiming that video games and internet influence children. For instance, if Pac-man affected kids born in the eighties, we should by now have a bunch of teenagers who run around in darkened rooms and eat pills while listening to monotonous electronic music. and we don't? :D

[Ben Rogers]

Lol, yeah. Apparently he's never heard of ravers... :p It's still ridiculous... but... bad example.

[Tim Finnegan]

Yes we do... It was ironic.

[Ben Rogers]

Lol. I... uh... I knew that. Really. <.< >.>

"Spoonman, come together with your hands!" - Spoonman, by Soundgarden

I know that Spoonman was a joke song, and it probably could have meaning, but... that will still sound wrong.