The Political Fun thread

[rhsunderground]

i'm in a good mood tonight, so i came up with this. this is NOT a debate thread. this is a place to post humorous politically-related things. funny pictures, jokes, etc. if it gets out of hand, i will close it, but i really don't want to.


The Countdown to Victory (http://skinneralamod.com/countdown.html)

[jeff_archer7]

My Prime Minister,John Howard (http://www.idu.org/johnhwrd.jpg) Has a striking resemblance to a character whom cleans tables Mr Sheen (http://www.boise.co.nz/office_supplies/images/2216426.jpg)

I have always found this very funny :D

[Jick]

Originally posted by jeff_archer7
My Prime Minister,John Howard (http://www.idu.org/johnhwrd.jpg) Has a striking resemblance to a character whom cleans tables Mr Sheen (http://www.boise.co.nz/office_supplies/images/2216426.jpg)

I have always found this very funny :DLOL... Good one. ;)

[LiLcRaZyFuZzY]

most of u know this im sure, but its awsome, the guy who did it, is a really chimp-god!

http://lilcrazyfuzzy.de/bush_chimp.jpg

[smercer]

Originally posted by LiLcRaZyFuZzY
most of u know this im sure, but its awsome, the guy who did it, is a really chimp-god!

http://lilcrazyfuzzy.de/bush_chimp.jpg

Ha ha ha.

I am going to just have to copy that one to put in my jokes inventory.

[smercer]

I posted this in my jokes thread, but it would be good here as well.

[jeff_archer7]

Originally posted by smercer
I posted this in my jokes thread, but it would be good here as well.


LMAO:D

[smercer]

I wish this was of Bush. ha ha ha

[PeOfEo]

Originally posted by smercer
I wish this was of Bush. ha ha ha I bet you would like to see that... nasty. ;)

[LiLcRaZyFuZzY]

Ayaya!! :o

[smercer]

Kindergarten Lecture
Attorney General Ashcroft was visiting an elementary school.
After the typical civics presentation, he announced, "All right, boys and
girls, you can ask me questions now."

A little boy named Bobby raised his hand and said, "Mr. Ashcroft, I have
three questions. First, how did Bush win the election with fewer votes than
Gore? Second, why are you using the USA Patriot Act to limit Americans'
civil liberties? And third, why hasn't the U.S. caught Osama Bin Laden yet?"

Just then the bell sounded and all the kids ran out to the playground.

After lunch the kids were back in class and Attorney General Ashcroft said,
"I'm sorry we were interrupted by the bell. Now, you can ask me questions."

A little girl raised her hand and said, "Mr. Ashcroft, I have five
questions. First, how did Bush win the election with fewer votes than Gore?
Second, why are you using the USA Patriot Act to limit Americans' civil
liberties? Third, why hasn't the U.S. caught Osama Bin Laden yet? Fourth,
why did the bell go off 20 minutes early? And fifth, where's Bobby?"

[jeff_archer7]

Originally posted by smercer
Fourth, why did the bell go off 20 minutes early?
And fifth, where's Bobby?"

LMAO:D

[LiLcRaZyFuZzY]

:D :D :D

[scragar]

that one's definatly being stolen. lol.

[rhsunderground]

Originally posted by smercer
{ashcroft joke} SWEET!!!

[smercer]

How Many People Can You Make Happy
The Gores and the Clintons are flying on Air Force One. Bill looks at Al, chuckles and says, "You know, I could throw a $100.00 bill out the window right now and make one person very happy."
Al shrugs his stiff shoulders and says, "Well, I could throw ten $10.00 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy."
Hillary tosses her perfectly hair-sprayed hair and says, "Of course, then, I could throw one hundred-$1.00 bills out the window and make a hundred people very happy."
Chelsea rolls her eyes, looks at all of them and says, "I could throw all of you out the window and make the whole country happy!"

[LiLcRaZyFuZzY]

HAHAHA!:D :p ;)

[PeOfEo]

Originally posted by smercer
How Many People Can You Make Happy
The Gores and the Clintons are flying on Air Force One. Bill looks at Al, chuckles and says, "You know, I could throw a $100.00 bill out the window right now and make one person very happy."
Al shrugs his stiff shoulders and says, "Well, I could throw ten $10.00 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy."
Hillary tosses her perfectly hair-sprayed hair and says, "Of course, then, I could throw one hundred-$1.00 bills out the window and make a hundred people very happy."
Chelsea rolls her eyes, looks at all of them and says, "I could throw all of you out the window and make the whole country happy!" amen to that! :D

[smercer]

Donations To Bush
A Marine colonel on his way home from work at the Pentagon came to a dead halt in traffic and thought to himself, "Wow, this traffic seems worse than usual. Nothing's even moving."

He notices a police officer walking back and forth between the lines of cars so he rolls down his window and asks, "Excuse me, Officer, what's the hold up?"

The Officer replies, "President Bush is just so depressed about being behind in the polls that he stopped his motorcade
in the middle of the Beltway and he's threatening to douse himself in gasoline and set himself on fire. He says he can't find donators to give him money for his campaign. I'm walking around taking up a collection for him."

"Oh really? How much have you collected so far?"

"So far only about three hundred gallons, but I've got a lot of folks still siphoning!"

[LiLcRaZyFuZzY]

awesome!

[rhsunderground]

Originally posted by smercer
Donations To Bush
A Marine colonel on his way home from work at the Pentagon came to a dead halt in traffic and thought to himself, "Wow, this traffic seems worse than usual. Nothing's even moving."

He notices a police officer walking back and forth between the lines of cars so he rolls down his window and asks, "Excuse me, Officer, what's the hold up?"

The Officer replies, "President Bush is just so depressed about being behind in the polls that he stopped his motorcade
in the middle of the Beltway and he's threatening to douse himself in gasoline and set himself on fire. He says he can't find donators to give him money for his campaign. I'm walking around taking up a collection for him."

"Oh really? How much have you collected so far?"

"So far only about three hundred gallons, but I've got a lot of folks still siphoning!" LOL!

[smercer]

http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/propaganda_homelandsecurity.jpg

[smercer]

http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/iraq_checklist.jpg

[smercer]

http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/antiwar_thankgod.jpg

[smercer]

http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/antiwar_trustbush.jpg

[smercer]

http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/bushes_iraqoil.jpg

[smercer]

http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/antiwar_bushwarhead.jpg

[rhsunderground]

in the future, try to cut down on the number of posts by putting 3 or so images in one post.

[LiLcRaZyFuZzY]

but those pics are so great..specially the one with the oil companies names!

[smercer]

Wrong Pig


Bill Clinton and his driver were cruising along a country road one night when all of a sudden they hit a pig, killing it instantly. Bill told his driver to go up to the farm house and explain to the owners what had happened.

About 1 hour later Bill sees his driver staggering back to the car with a bottle of wine in one hand, a cigar in the other and his clothes all ripped and torn.

"What happened to you?", asked Bill.

"Well, the Farmer gave me the wine, his wife gave me the Cigar and his 19 year old daughter made mad passionate love to me," said the driver.

"My God, what did you tell them?", asks Clinton.

The driver replies, "I'm Bill Clinton's driver, and I just killed the pig."

Janet???


First Lady Hillary Clinton and Attorney General Janet Reno were having one of those girl to girl talks, and Hillary says to Janet, "You're lucky that you don't have to put up with men having sex with you. I have to put up with Bill, and there is no telling where he last had his pecker."

Janet responded, "Just because I am esthetically challenged (that's "politically correct" for ugly) doesn't mean I don't have to fight off unwelcome sexual advances."

Hillary asks, "Well, how do you deal with the problem?"

Janet, "Whenever I feel that a guy is getting ready to make a pass at me, I muster all my might and squeeze out the loudest, nastiest fart that I can."

That night, Bill was already in bed with the lights out when Hillary slips into bed. She could hear him start to stir, and knew that he would be wanting some action. She had been saving her farts all day, and was ready for him.

She tenses up her butt cheeks and forces out the most disgusting sounding fart you could imagine.

Bill rolls over and says, "Janet, is that you?


God's Letter

A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened.
Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, USA, they decided to send it to President Bush.

The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill.

President Bush thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.

The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 and sat down to write a thank you note to God, which read:

Dear God,

Thank you very much for sending the money, however, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington D.C. and, as usual, those crooks deducted $95.00.


So That Is Politics

A son asks his father, "What can you tell me about politics? I have to learn about it for school tomorrow." The father thinks a little and says, "OK, son, the best way I can describe politics is to use an analogy. Let's say that I'm a capitalist because I'm the breadwinner. Your mother will be the government because she controls everything, our maid will be the working class because she works for us, you will be the people because you answer to us, and your baby brother will be the future. Does that help any?" The little boy said, "Well, Dad, I don't know, but I'll think about what you said."

Later that night, after everyone had gone to bed, the little boy was awaken by his baby brother's crying. Upon further investigation, he found a dirty diaper. So, he went down the hall to his parent's bedroom and found his father's side of the bed empty and his mother wouldn't wake up. Then he saw a light on in the guest room down the hall, and when he reached the door, he saw through the crack that his father was in bed with the maid. The son then turned and went back to bed.

The next morning, he said to his father at the breakfast table, "Dad, I think I understand politics much better now." "Excellent, my boy," he answered, "What have you learned?" The little boy thought for a minute and said, "I learned that capitalism is screwing the working class, government is sound asleep ignoring the people, and the future's full of crap."

Summer Lovin


The following song is sung to the tune of "Summer Lovin'" from the musical "Grease".

Bill: "Summer intern, had me a blast"
Monica: "White house intern, happened so fast"
Bill: "Met a girl, crazy for me"
Monica: "Met the prez, down on my knees"
Bill: "Summer days, sucking away, oh, I, love those summer nights"

Investigation Committee: "Oh Well, ah.. well, ah....well, ah..... UH....
Tell us more, tell us more"
Linda Trip: "try to remember your best"
Investigation Committee: "Tell us more, tell us more"
Kenneth Star: "Did he come on your dress?"

Bill: "Wanted to screw her but she had a cramp"
Monica: "The prez is sexy - and makes my panties damp"
Bill: "She gave me head, right in the White House"
Monica: "I said OK, just don't come in my mouth:

Investigation Committee: "Well, ah.. well, ah....well, ah. uh. Tell us more, tell us more"

Linda Trip: "he sounds like a swell guy"
Investigation Committee: "Tell us more, tell us more"
Kenneth Star: "Did he tell you to lie?"

Bill: "Press found out, it turned into a mess"
Monica: "He gave me fifty bucks to buy a new dress"
Bill: "She promised to lie, she made a vow"
Monica: "Wonder who is servicing him now"
Bill & Monica: "Sex filled dreams, ripped at the seams,
But.........oh,
Those White House Nights"



Welcome To Oz

Four U.S. Presidents are caught in a tornado, and off they spin to OZ. After threatening trials and tribulations, they finally make it to the Emerald City and come before the Great Wizard.

"What brings you before the great and powerful Wizard of Oz? What do you want?"

Jimmy Carter steps forward timidly, "I had a terrible time with Iran, so I've come for some courage."

"No problem!" says the Wizard, "Who is next?"

Up steps George Bush Senior sadly, "I'm told by the American people that I need a heart."

"I've heard its true." says the Wizard. "Consider it done. Who comes next before the great and powerful Oz?"

George W. bush steps forward, "Well, I think I need a brain".

"Done" says the Wizard.

Then there is a great silence in the hall. Bill Clinton is just standing there, looking around, but doesn't say a word. Irritated, the Wizard finally asks, "What brings you to the emerald city?"

"Is Dorothy around?"

[smercer]

http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/gop_paging_dr_freud.jpg
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/bush_global_test.gif
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/bush_woodpecker.jpg
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/bush_dudejob.jpg
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/bush_undercover.jpg
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/bush_familyphotos.jpg
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/bush_terroralerts.gif
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/bush_puppet.jpg
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/propaganda_getsome.jpg

This last one reminds me of PeOfEo, wamboid and thuko135. see Why hasn't Bin Larden been found despite spy satellites covering his area? (http://www.webdeveloper.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=56373&perpage=40&pagenumber=3) for details.
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/propaganda_noevil.jpg

[smercer]

http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/bush_hazing.jpg
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/propaganda_reelect.jpg
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/iraq_prisoner_mission_accomplished.jpg
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/iraq_prisoner_honor_dignity.jpg
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/dissent_aidingterror.jpg

http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/bush_smokinggun.jpg
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/propaganda_invest.jpg
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/iraq_allies.jpg

[smercer]

http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/antiwar_oilpergallon.jpg

http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/bush_leash.jpg

http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/iraq_ballot.jpg
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/saddam_hearmenow.jpg
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/saddam_weekend.jpg
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/iraq_mcdonalds.jpg
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/saddam_dummy.jpg

[smercer]

http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/iraq_bobnowhere.gif
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/iraq_wmd_google.jpg
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/saddam_elvis2.jpg
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/iraq_looneytunes.jpg
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/bush_precious.jpg
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/election2004_likeme.gif

[smercer]

http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/bush_laura_imperial.jpg
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/bush_ss_monopoly.jpg
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/bush_fixed_iraq.jpg
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/bush_monica_moment.jpg
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/bush_ourleader_monkey.jpg
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/bush_lithium.gif

[wamboid]

Sorry rhsunderground, this will be a one time reply since my name was called out and apparently someone posted something bad enough to get the other thread locked.

Smercer, strange that that cartoon reminds you of me, it actually reminds me of you since it contains outdated stats and some flat out wrong information. Specifically,

Outdated: Stock market down 29% - compare the dow today with 4 years ago.

Wrong: I don't remember studying about Bush starting the Korean War in my history class. That must be the one the cartoon is talking about since we haven't been to war with them since.

Again, my apologies to rhsunderground. I generally try really hard not to break the rules of the forum or the person starting a thread.

[wamboid]

Almost forgot. Most of those were cute smercer. You keep forgetting, I'm not actually a Bush supporter.

[smercer]

Originally posted by wamboid
Sorry rhsunderground, this will be a one time reply since my name was called out and apparently someone posted something bad enough to get the other thread locked.

Smercer, strange that that cartoon reminds you of me, it actually reminds me of you since it contains outdated stats and some flat out wrong information. Specifically,

Outdated: Stock market down 29% - compare the dow today with 4 years ago.

Wrong: I don't remember studying about Bush starting the Korean War in my history class. That must be the one the cartoon is talking about since we haven't been to war with them since.

Again, my apologies to rhsunderground. I generally try really hard not to break the rules of the forum or the person starting a thread.
If you like I could start another anti bush thread and we could discuss it there.

http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/bush_control_panel.jpg
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/bush_hardwork.jpg
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/bush_furiousgeorge2.jpg

http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/bush_gollum.jpg
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/bush_gollum_2004.jpg
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/bush_wgirls1.jpg

[smercer]

http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/bush_purple_noses.jpg
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/bush_baghdad_bob_animated.gif
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/bush_pandoras_box.jpg
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/bush_credibility_gap.jpg

Wouldn't this be good to send him into outer space, never to return.
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/bush_infinity_and_beyond.jpg
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/halliburton_moon.jpg

[smercer]

http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/bush_rambo.jpg

http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/bush_liarliar.jpg

http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/bush_worldnotenough.jpg
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/bush_sumofallfears.jpg

[rhsunderground]

Originally posted by smercer
If you like I could start another anti bush thread and we could discuss it there.
*cracks knucles in an intimidating manner*

that won't be necessary

[smercer]

RHS: not to worry, I was thinking of starting another anyway, I love discussing politics.

http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/bush_baseballjersey.jpg
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/bush_absolut_power.jpg
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/bush_aka.jpg

http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/bush_lies_pez.jpg

Here is an interesting thought: If bushes nose was to grow longer with every lie he tells. I wish I could have a lie detector in the TV and everytime a politician tells a lie, the word "liar" would come up on the screen. I have heard of a invention that you attach to your phone and it will tell you if the person is telling a lie. Works on the persons tone of voice and can pick out nervousness so I recall.
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/bush_pinocchio.jpg
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/bush_britney.jpg

[smercer]

http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/bush_office_helper.jpg

I bet there are many Americans that want to do this:
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/bush_ducttape.jpg

http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/bush_madcowboy.jpg

http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/bush_bookupsidedown.jpg

http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/bush_binoculars.jpg

http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/bush_grinchmp.jpg

[rhsunderground]

Originally posted by smercer
I wish I could have a lie detector in the TV and everytime a politician tells a lie, the word "liar" would come up on the screen. that would be the worst invention ever. i would never watch politics again, else i would want to throw a wrench at my TV. (and possibly play dodgeball with it later)

[wamboid]

Actually, I don't think the word liar would hardly ever appear on the screen because most of them actually believe what they are saying. Sad, but true.

[LiLcRaZyFuZzY]

no they dont really believe it, but have to sound convincing..politicians are ALL rats...but some know how to make speeches

[smercer]

I have posted a new thead so we could discuss the lie detecters into tvs there and keep this thread from going into another multi tangent thread.
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/bush_nostradamus.jpg
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/bush_airdubya.jpg
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/bush_fossilfools1.gif

http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/bush_educated.jpg

http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/bush_worktodo.jpg

[smercer]

http://www.fun4all.dk/hussein/bush_bombiraq.jpg

[smercer]

Liars
A bus of politicians is driving by a farm where a man lives alone. The bus driver, caught up in the beautiful scenery, loses control and crashes into the ditch. The man comes out and finding the politicians, buries them.
The next day, the police are at the farm questioning the man. "So you buried all the politicians?" asked the police officer. "Were they all dead?"
To which the man replied, "Some said they weren't, but you know how politicians lie."