Message Board Game!

[Joshua N.]

This is a fun game that nearly every forum I go to has!

Its called the message board game!
One person types a sentence to a story, and everyone adds one sentence to it. Eventually, it will get really random, and thats when reading it will be funny.

Heres the first sentence:

Bob is an average guy living an average life.

Enjoy!

[rhsunderground]

Originally posted by Joshua N.
Bob is an average guy living an average life.
One day, Bob saw something strange in the sink.


I'm going to add some additional rules. First, I will be following this thread, so keep it on-topic and clean. Second, please quote the person above you so we know which sentence is following which. Sometimes people post at the same time, so it gets messed up. If you notice that you posted but somebody else already used the sentence you quoted, please go back and edit it.

[Joshua N.]

Originally posted by rhsunderground
One day, Bob saw something strange in the sink.




It turned out to be a space alien blob which ate Bob and assumed his identity.

[philaweb]

Originally posted by Joshua N.
It turned out to be a space alien blob which ate Bob and assumed his identity.

From that day on Bob was known as Blob.

[Joshua N.]

Originally posted by philaweb
From that day on Bob was known as Blob.

One day, Blob entered the white house and met George Bush.

[Jupac]

Originally posted by Joshua N.
One day, Blob entered the white house and met George Bush. Blob was scard, so he gave Bush a Tupac cd and ran to Compton

[PeOfEo]

Blob was chillen with Bush and then Dick cheyney walked in and saw the alien and had a heart attack.

[Snitchcat]

Originally posted by PeOfEo
Blob was chillen with Bush and then Dick cheyney walked in and saw the alien and had a heart attack.

Bob reached for the phone and without looking dialled 999, but to his horror, he realised he'd dialled 666.

[PeOfEo]

Originally posted by Snitchcat
Bob reached for the phone and without looking dialled 999, but to his horror, he realised he'd dialled 666. satan picked up the phone.

[Jupac]

Originally posted by PeOfEo
satan picked up the phone. Satan said that the car is fixed

[rhsunderground]

Originally posted by Jupac
Satan said that the car is fixed but unfortunately his car was mixed up with a van down by the river

[jeff_archer7]

Originally posted by rhsunderground
but unfortunately his car was mixed up with a van down by the river

So Blob and Bush went down to the river, with Dick cheyney in a sack,
Saying Hi to the devil , who was wearing a red dress..

[rhsunderground]

Originally posted by jeff_archer7
So Blob and Bush went down to the river, with Dick cheyney in a sack,
Saying Hi to the devil , who was wearing a red dress.. and the devil introduced them to Rev. Dr. Sir Benjamin Thomas Kaye Hyphen Skinner I, DDS, M.D., LSD, son of Thor the Destroyer, son of Uther Pendragon of Camelot, of the Tribe of Jacob, rightful heir to the throne of Gondor,, and father of David the Chickenhearted, who wet himself at the battle of Goren Thild and ran away from the legendary assault on the Castle Dysentery and was given a swirlie by the great Norwegian sock designer Helms Schørenbürgenklitzënböjrkøffsteinmansmith in the battle at 155th and Lake in Brooklyn, where Sir Bracken of Northamptonshire slew the dragon Peofeo and claimed his right of marriage to Lady Wellingsworth, daughter of Maldicio Stange, a former Tibetan monk turned slave driver in the militant wing of the Salvation army under the command of General Juan Patrick Komishakaya, bastard son of Margaret Thatcher, whose best friend’s brother’s roommate’s cousin’s drug dealer’s nephew’s landlord’s uncle was imprisoned at Alcatraz with the late (God rest his soul) Patty O’Furniture, son of a French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet, who once at lunch with the former locker mate of Warren Burger, whose dog shat on the lawn of George Anderson, a disgruntled employee at Krustee McCheese’s Cheese Factory who went to work one day intending to kill three and a half people but was instead paralyzed in a tragic cheese-grating accident while using the restroom, and it just so happened that a lawyer named Alfred P. Jameson, who sued the company for millions and took half of the winnings for himself, buying a small island in the middle of Tibet, where he met an old friend of Maldicio Stange named Ima Fulla Krap, who had an affair with an orangutan owned by Jay W. Gilbert III, a drug dealer with the Kenyan Mafia and land owner in a small, ice-locked section of Pakistan, where he harvests illegal corn and sells it to Russian spies working for Mao Tze-Dung’s niece Karen Bratton, a seamstress with inner ties to the head of a large fast food corporation that rhymes with McRonald’s and worked her way through upper management where she arranged a lunch with John Lithgow, who was in Footloose with Kevin Bacon.

[Jupac]

Originally posted by rhsunderground
and the devil introduced them to Rev. Dr. Sir Benjamin Thomas Kaye Hyphen Skinner I, DDS, M.D., LSD, son of Thor the Destroyer, son of Uther Pendragon of Camelot, of the Tribe of Jacob, rightful heir to the throne of Gondor,, and father of David the Chickenhearted, who wet himself at the battle of Goren Thild and ran away from the legendary assault on the Castle Dysentery and was given a swirlie by the great Norwegian sock designer Helms Schørenbürgenklitzënböjrkøffsteinmansmith in the battle at 155th and Lake in Brooklyn, where Sir Bracken of Northamptonshire slew the dragon Peofeo and claimed his right of marriage to Lady Wellingsworth, daughter of Maldicio Stange, a former Tibetan monk turned slave driver in the militant wing of the Salvation army under the command of General Juan Patrick Komishakaya, bastard son of Margaret Thatcher, whose best friend’s brother’s roommate’s cousin’s drug dealer’s nephew’s landlord’s uncle was imprisoned at Alcatraz with the late (God rest his soul) Patty O’Furniture, son of a French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet, who once at lunch with the former locker mate of Warren Burger, whose dog shat on the lawn of George Anderson, a disgruntled employee at Krustee McCheese’s Cheese Factory who went to work one day intending to kill three and a half people but was instead paralyzed in a tragic cheese-grating accident while using the restroom, and it just so happened that a lawyer named Alfred P. Jameson, who sued the company for millions and took half of the winnings for himself, buying a small island in the middle of Tibet, where he met an old friend of Maldicio Stange named Ima Fulla Krap, who had an affair with an orangutan owned by Jay W. Gilbert III, a drug dealer with the Kenyan Mafia and land owner in a small, ice-locked section of Pakistan, where he harvests illegal corn and sells it to Russian spies working for Mao Tze-Dung’s niece Karen Bratton, a seamstress with inner ties to the head of a large fast food corporation that rhymes with McRonald’s and worked her way through upper management where she arranged a lunch with John Lithgow, who was in Footloose with Kevin Bacon. BLOB SOON died

[jeff_archer7]

You d1ckz cant read..... it was like meant to be 1 sentance not a whole friggin novel

[Jupac]

Blob Awoke and relized it was all a dream

[rhsunderground]

Originally posted by Jupac
Blob Awoke and relized it was all a dream Then blob got out of bed and got dressed for work.


Originally posted by jeff_archer7
You d1ckz cant read..... it was like meant to be 1 sentance not a whole friggin novel
if you read it, it's only one sentence :D

[gorky]

Originally posted by rhsunderground
Then blob got out of bed and got dressed for work.Blob worked part-time at Microsoft, writing error messages.

[rhsunderground]

Originally posted by gorky
Blob worked part-time at Microsoft, writing error messages. but Bob had become fed up with the old error messages, so he decided to make a new one.

[smercer]

Originally posted by rhsunderground
but Bob had become fed up with the old error messages, so he decided to make a new one.

he decided to write an error that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!

[Mr Initial Man]

Originally posted by smercer
he decided to write an error that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!


And so he began writing error messages for Firefox, Mozilla, Netscape, and setting out HTML standards.


(I couldn't resist)

[scragar]

And so he began writing error messages for Firefox, Mozilla, Netscape, and setting out HTML standards.
but w3c whought his ideas were silly and sent him to work at McDonalds.

[smercer]

Originally posted by scragar
but w3c whought his ideas were silly and sent him to work at McDonalds.
and their burgers went from small(which looked like a bomb hit it) to biscuit size (all squashed up)

[scragar]

Originally posted by smercer
and their burgers went from small(which looked like a bomb hit it) to biscuit size (all squashed up)

but the customers complained and attacked him with soggy fruit.

[smercer]

Originally posted by scragar
but the customers complained and attacked him with soggy fruit.
Blog got fired, leaving the staff to clean the restaurant of soggy fruit which smelt like rotten fruit.

[PeOfEo]

Originally posted by smercer
Blog got fired, leaving the staff to clean the restaurant of soggy fruit which smelt like rotten fruit. Blob decided he would apply at taco bell as their corporate error message write, he wrote such cleaver error messages as "our employee did not mean to spit in your food", so on and so fourth.

[gorky]

Originally posted by PeOfEo
Blob decided he would apply at taco bell as their corporate error message write, he wrote such cleaver error messages as "our employee did not mean to spit in your food", so on and so fourth. Unfortunately he was fired from this job as well, due to inconsistencies with the name provided on his resume (see "blog" above) and his own; and a random .blogspot domain replaced him, and drove the customers crazy with it's horrible rants, libel, and crappy html coding.

[jeff_archer7]

GORKY WROTE:
Unfortunately he was fired from this job as well, due to inconsistencies with the name provided on his resume (see "blog" above) and his own; and a random .blogspot domain replaced him, and drove the customers crazy with it's horrible rants, libel, and crappy html coding.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

But never the less He always had a Job at APPLE, writing software to ensure the longevity of IpOd.

[Bluetagpizza]

But never the less He always had a Job at APPLE, writing software to ensure the longevity of IpOd.
He worked long hours through the dark night ensuring that iTunes music would only work on Apple's iPods(TM) using Apple's iHeadphones(TM) and Apple's iLCDdisplay(TM).

Edit: (Hey, he was a former Microsoft Employee, what can you expect?)

[jeff_archer7]

Originally posted by Bluetagpizza
He worked long hours through the dark night ensuring that iTunes music would only work on Apple's iPods(TM) using Apple's iHeadphones(TM) and Apple's iLCDdisplay(TM).

Whilst whoring away his time at APPPLE(tm) he met a nice, 300lb girl, called sherryl whom he instantly fell in love with, he called her 'puppykins'..

[Jupac]

Originally posted by jeff_archer7
Whilst whoring away his time at APPPLE(tm) he met a nice, 300lb girl, called sherryl whom he instantly fell in love with, he called her 'puppykins'.. They did it

[Jick]

Originally posted by Jupac
They did itShe then asked him to go out and buy some milk and while doing so he met a god named Jick.

[PeOfEo]

Originally posted by Jick
She then asked him to go out and buy some milk and while doing so he met a god named Jick. They found this Jick fellow to be very creepy and they walked away quickly.

[Jupac]

Originally posted by PeOfEo
They found this Jick fellow to be very creepy and they walked away quickly. Blob retured to his house with a Colt M4 and shot puppykins

[theuedimaster]

Originally posted by Jupac
Blob retured to his house with a Colt M4 and shot puppykins

To his dismay, the bullet bounced off her lard-covered stomach and inflected a wound in Blob's leg that, within an hour, became filled with a deadly colony of bacteria.

[Joshua N.]

Originally posted by theuedimaster
To his dismay, the bullet bounced off her lard-covered stomach and inflected a wound in Blob's leg that, within an hour, became filled with a deadly colony of bacteria.

Puppykins became enraged and turned into a monster.

[scragar]

Puppykins became enraged and turned into a monster.
who is not to be mistaken for the incredible hulk, despite being big and green.

[Fantatier]

Originally posted by scragar
who is not to be mistaken for the incredible hulk, despite being big and green.

no, the monster behind the counter was THE IMPOSTOR

[smercer]

Originally posted by Fantatier
no, the monster behind the counter was THE IMPOSTOR

From outer space

(this will make it interesting)

[scragar]

From outer space
meanwhile in a place not so far away(3.729 lightyears, or 3 warpspeed seconds) a small band of alien bounty hunters planned to capture the IMPOSTER for a reward

[Snitchcat]

Originally posted by scragar
meanwhile in a place not so far away(3.729 lightyears, or 3 warpspeed seconds) a small band of alien bounty hunters planned to capture the IMPOSTER for a reward

But unfortunately for the amoeba-brained bounty hunters, the Black Guards(tm) of the Galactic Worlds(tm) were closing in.

[the tree]

Originally posted by Snitchcat
But unfortunately for the amoeba-brained bounty hunters, the Black Guards(tm) of the Galactic Worlds(tm) were closing in. They fought for a very long time, as a result, Blob got bored and went for a pizza.

[scragar]

They fought for a very long time, as a result, Blob got bored and went for a pizza.when he got to pizza hut he remembered that he didn't like pizza and decided to get a kebab instead.

[Bluetagpizza]

Originally posted by scragar
when he got to pizza hut he remembered that he didn't like pizza and decided to get a kebab instead.

After he had finished eating, he went back to his car but found that he was out of gas and had no money to buy more.

[the tree]

Originally posted by Bluetagpizza
After he had finished eating, he went back to his car but found that he was out of gas and had no money to buy more. So he stole someone elses car.

[Bluetagpizza]

Originally posted by the tree
So he stole someone elses car.

Unfortunately, the car he happend to steal belonged to an undercover cop.

[Jupac]

Originally posted by Bluetagpizza
Unfortunately, the car he happend to steal belonged to an undercover cop. So he gave it back and walk to Japan to get a Nissan Sykline R34

[Joshua N.]

Originally posted by Jupac
So he gave it back and walk to Japan to get a Nissan Sykline R34

On, his way to Japan, he happened to pass through the Bronx and found himself in the middle of a multi-gang shoot-out.

[PeOfEo]

Originally posted by Joshua N.
On, his way to Japan, he happened to pass through the Bronx and found himself in the middle of a multi-gang shoot-out. Blob remembered that he had a butterfly knife, so he whipped it out like a ninja and said "I am not down wit the crips or bloods" in a cool way.

[smercer]

Originally posted by PeOfEo
Blob remembered that he had a butterfly knife, so he whipped it out like a ninja and said "I am not down wit the crips or bloods" in a cool way.
and the gangs said "if ya git in our way, well fill ya fulla holes"

[Bluetagpizza]

Originally posted by smercer
and the gangs said "if ya git in our way, well fill ya fulla holes"

And Blob said, "I'm going, I'm going!", but the gangs said, "Not so fast..."

[smercer]

Originally posted by Bluetagpizza
And Blob said, "I'm going, I'm going!", but the gangs said, "Not so fast..."
and the gangs filled him with lead anyway

(opps is the main charicter supposed to live?)

[Jick]

Originally posted by smercer
and the gangs filled him with lead anywayHe rose from the ground and they started shooting again and he put his hand up and said "No" and the bullets stopped in mid-air.

[PeOfEo]

Originally posted by Jick
He rose from the ground and they started shooting again and he put his hand up and said "No" and the bullets stopped in mid-air. Then he started waving his enchanted anime butterfly knife some more and deflected the bullets back towards the gangs.



blob's magic butterfly knife: http://www.altairmodels.com/pictures/products/Butterfly%20KnifeM.jpg

[the tree]

Originally posted by PeOfEo
Then he started waving his enchanted anime butterfly knife some more and deflected the bullets back towards the gangs. Quite understandably, the gangs realised that Blob was rather powerful and it would take some effort to fend him off so they agreed to forget thier differences in order to fight in unison agaisnt Blob who then decided that it was probably not such a good idea to fight two gangs at a time so he apologised, everyone shook hand and apologised for all the pain that they had been causing each other: after they realised how easy it was to just get along they joined up to work for international peace, on a campaign led by Blob.

[smercer]

Originally posted by the tree
Quite understandably, the gangs realised that Blob was rather powerful and it would take some effort to fend him off so they agreed to forget thier differences in order to fight in unison agaisnt Blob who then decided that it was probably not such a good idea to fight two gangs at a time so he apologised, everyone shook hand and apologised for all the pain that they had been causing each other: after they realised how easy it was to just get along they joined up to work for international peace, on a campaign led by Blob.
They all soon realised that life is not that simple and they started fighting again.

(I think we like to keep them fighting :) )

[PeOfEo]

Originally posted by smercer
They all soon realised that life is not that simple and they started fighting again.

(I think we like to keep them fighting :) ) That day was extremely bloody, Blob slaudered the gangs kill bill style, Blood was everywhere, Blob ended up bending the tip of his knife that day so it lost it's magical power, so blob decided to go on a quest to find another enchanted butterly knife, or some other enchanted concealed weapon, he found a monk who was willing to sell his sacred enchanted tire iron of ph34r and devestation.

[theuedimaster]

Originally posted by PeOfEo
That day was extremely bloody, Blob slaudered the gangs kill bill style, Blood was everywhere, Blob ended up bending the tip of his knife that day so it lost it's magical power, so blob decided to go on a quest to find another enchanted butterly knife, or some other enchanted concealed weapon, he found a monk who was willing to sell his sacred enchanted tire iron of ph34r and devestation.

But it all seemed to easy...

[gorky]

Blob whipped out his M4 just in time as twelve lvl. 54 Monks crashed in through the sealing, brandishing many various instruments of death, torture, and destruction including a Windows ME OS boxed set, a 28k modem, and a Drummel.

EDIT: The ceiling had been recently crashed through by some Pedafilic Priests and the concrete crack-seal had been drying when the 12 Bald Buddhists crashed through it which is why it looks as if I spelled 'ceiling' wrong.

[theuedimaster]

Originally posted by gorky
Blob whipped out his M4 just in time as twelve lvl. 54 Monks crashed in through the sealing, brandishing many various instruments of death, torture, and destruction including a Windows ME OS boxed set, a 28k modem, and a Drummel.

EDIT: The ceiling had been recently crashed through by some Pedafilic Priests and the concrete crack-seal had been drying when the 12 Bald Buddhists crashed through it which is why it looks as if I spelled 'ceiling' wrong.

The Monks froze when they saw the infamous drummel; they could only say "I think you meant dremmel"

[gorky]

Originally posted by theuedimaster
The Monks froze when they saw the infamous drummel; they could only say "I think you meant dremmel"
Blob went to work sawing off their heads with the grisly device, screaming insanely all the while, "DON'T CORRECT ME!!!"

[PeOfEo]

Originally posted by gorky
Blob went to work sawing off their heads with the grisly device, screaming insanely all the while, "DON'T CORRECT ME!!!" Just then, the dremmel started... it vibrated angrily, blob thought to himself "THIS EVIL DEVICE MUST FEED ON RAGE", he tried to fend off the demonic rotary tool but it kept getting stronger, it was absorbing Blob's energy.

[MstrBob]

And then, right in the middle of the action, the REAL Bob walked in and asked "Wtf is a dremmel?"

[PeOfEo]

Originally posted by MstrBob
And then, right in the middle of the action, the REAL Bob walked in and asked "Wtf is a dremmel?" then everyone looked and "shouted, dremel dremel dremel, the worlds best rotary tool... quit criticizing the spelling and let us get back to our battle!", the battle continued... right where it left off, bob was fighting the evil dremel rotary tool.

[MstrBob]

Originally posted by PeOfEo
then everyone looked and "shouted, dremel dremel dremel, the worlds best rotary tool... quit criticizing the spelling and let us get back to our battle!", the battle continued... right where it left off, bob was fighting the evil dremel rotary tool.

But Bob thought better, forced Blob to take his place, and jumped ship to Canada.

[Jupac]

In canada he meet a Guy name Dan. Dan gave him a Degal and 4 magazine for his m4. Blob was greedy and shot Dan in the head and took his Acura NSX

[PeOfEo]

Originally posted by Jupac
In canada he meet a Guy name Dan. Dan gave him a Degal and 4 magazine for his m4. Blob was greedy and shot Dan in the head and took his Acura NSX But then Blob realized that he hated these new fangled cars... he saw a dodge challeneger again so he whipped out the tire iron of justice from the back of the accura and proceeded to beat the owner of the challeneger until he was unconsious, then blob to the challeneger and continued on his quest... this time with a wicked cool mopar car.

[theuedimaster]

Originally posted by PeOfEo
But then Blob realized that he hated these new fangled cars... he saw a dodge challeneger again so he whipped out the tire iron of justice from the back of the accura and proceeded to beat the owner of the challeneger until he was unconsious, then blob to the challeneger and continued on his quest... this time with a wicked cool mopar car.

He drove back to the 54 killer monks and continued his fight with restored vigor.

[jeff_archer7]

Originally posted by theuedimaster
He drove back to the 54 killer monks and continued his fight with restored vigor.

Revving the 'Mighty Mopar o Doom' he crushed the monks under his car, which he knicknamed 'Destructo Dodge O Death', laughing heartily with his newfound WMD (wicked Mopar Dodge)......

[gorky]

Originally posted by jeff_archer7
Revving the 'Mighty Mopar o Doom' he crushed the monks under his car, which he knicknamed 'Destructo Dodge O Death', laughing heartily with his newfound WMD (wicked Mopar Dodge)......
After he was done crushing their frail, underfed bodies, he decided to have his car tuned-up as 1) a bone had slashed his tire during the melee, 2) the monk blood and flesh-chunks all over the bottom and front of his car smelled kinda gross, and 3) he wanted to replace his oil and sparkplugs, and drove to a Kragen to have the work done.

[Joshua N.]

Originally posted by gorky
After he was done crushing their frail, underfed bodies, he decided to have his car tuned-up as 1) a bone had slashed his tire during the melee, 2) the monk blood and flesh-chunks all over the bottom and front of his car smelled kinda gross, and 3) he wanted to replace his oil and sparkplugs, and drove to a Kragen to have the work done.

At the bodyshop, he found out that one of that gangs in the Bronx still wanted to kill him, and had followed him there.

[baseiber]

So he drove to the nearest airport, ditched the car, and stole a luxury jet.

[MstrBob]

Originally posted by baseiber
So he drove to the nearest airport, ditched the car, and stole a luxury jet.

And was promptly attacked by flying nijas; this just wasn't Blob's day...

[gorky]

Originally posted by MstrBob

And was promptly attacked by flying nijas; this just wasn't Blob's day...
Blob engaged the autopilot, hit his knee right in that weird spot that makes it feel tingly on the ****pit control panel getting up, got pissed, turned green, huge, and hairy, ripped all the flying-ninja's limbs off, flushed the torsos down the toilet, did a mid-flight sewage dump over the Atlantic ocean, and then sat down in a business class seat for a reprieve just as the inflight movie began.

[MstrBob]

The inflight movie was "Spongebob Square Pants". Again. For the 500th time. Blob jumped from the plane.

[theuedimaster]

Originally posted by MstrBob
The inflight movie was "Spongebob Square Pants". Again. For the 500th time. Blob jumped from the plane.
Blob finally realized that people were going after him because he looked like Bob; so promptly, he changed his shape so that he looked like a kid with the screenname RHSUNDERGROUND.

[Joshua N.]

Originally posted by theuedimaster
Blob finally realized that people were going after him because he looked like Bob; so promptly, he changed his shape so that he looked like a kid with the screenname RHSUNDERGROUND.

On his fall down from the airplane, Blob was attacked by flaming pirates riding on flying robo-sharks (the robo-sharks were flaming too).

[gorky]

Double post on same quote

[gorky]

Originally posted by Joshua N.
On his fall down from the airplane, Blob was attacked by flaming pirates riding on flying robo-sharks (the robo-sharks were flaming too).
It soon became apparent that changing his name was a bad decision, as it seemed as RHS, even more people (especially pirates) were trying to kill him via conventional methods, as well as the far more painful and slow death of answering constant questions regarding internet-language and politics; not to mention P.E.T.A. being after him for supposedly wearing animal fur that was really just his body hair.

[MstrBob]

Originally posted by gorky
It soon became apparent that changing his name was a bad decision, as it seemed as RHS, even more people (especially pirates) were trying to kill him via conventional methods, as well as the far more painful and slow death of answering constant questions regarding internet-language and politics; not to mention P.E.T.A. being after him for supposedly wearing animal fur that was really just his body hair.

When he hit the water, he returned to his senses. He realized that he did NOT have the power to change shape, and the flaming robots and pirates were extinguished. After making a series of jokes about them being "flaming" he swam off.

[gorky]

Originally posted by MstrBob

When he hit the water, he returned to his senses. He realized that he did NOT have the power to change shape, and the flaming robots and pirates were extinguished. After making a series of jokes about them being "flaming" he swam off.
He made it to an island in the middle of the Atlantic, befriended a tennis ball named Dunlop, and then became very bored.

[jeff_archer7]

Originally posted by gorky
He made it to an island in the middle of the Atlantic, befriended a tennis ball named Dunlop, and then became very bored.

So swimming to the mainland Blob and Dunlop went to the depol office to change their names, changing them to Charlie a.k.a. blob, and hooker a.k.a. dunlop.

[theuedimaster]

Originally posted by jeff_archer7
So swimming to the mainland Blob and Dunlop went to the depol office to change their names, changing them to Charlie a.k.a. blob, and hooker a.k.a. dunlop.
When Hooker got into a fight at the bar, Charlie had to back him up; the courts thought he had mental problems and sent him to a psycho hospital.

[Jick]

Originally posted by theuedimaster
When Hooker got into a fight at the bar, Charlie had to back him up; the courts thought he had mental problems and sent him to a psycho hospital.He ended up in a room right next to theuedimaster and quickly realized that he had to get out of there before he really went crazy.

[gorky]

Originally posted by Jick
He ended up in a room right next to theuedimaster and quickly realized that he had to get out of there before he really went crazy.
He realized he had hooker in his pocket and thought up an insanely clever idea to escape, forgot it, and then tossed hooker through the bars so that he hit a button that inexplicably opened just his cell door, which, as he walked through, set off a piercing alarm that featured a voice shouting angrily in german.

[theuedimaster]

Originally posted by gorky
He realized he had hooker in his pocket and thought up an insanely clever idea to escape, forgot it, and then tossed hooker through the bars so that he hit a button that inexplicably opened just his cell door, which, as he walked through, set off a piercing alarm that featured a voice shouting angrily in german.

Jick and Gorky appeared out of nowhere with SMGs and told Charlie to follow them to escape; after they led him out of the psycho hospital they passed him along to a group of abolitionists that would transport them through the underground railroad.

[Jupac]

John comes and nuke the whole world.

THE END.

[gorky]

Originally posted by Jupac
John comes and nuke the whole world.

THE END.
of the world that is, but luckily, just before the bomb went off, Jick, Gorky, the also-freed theuedimaster, hooker, and charlie jumped aboard a transport bound for a UNSC Cruiser orbiting Earth, where they joined the Master Chief, kicked his and four other marines' a**es in a three-system-link xbox match.

[Jick]

Originally posted by gorky
of the world that is, but luckily, just before the bomb went off, Jick, Gorky, the also-freed theuedimaster, hooker, and charlie jumped aboard a transport bound for a UNSC Cruiser orbiting Earth, where they joined the Master Chief, kicked his and four other marines' a**es in a three-system-link xbox match.Just then, a band of power-hungry space ninjas came out of nowhere and started fighting with the newly formed "Brothers of Infamy". Luckily Jick had some light sabers in a bag and he passed them out to the other brothers and they began to kick ass.

[gorky]

Originally posted by Jick
Just then, a band of power-hungry space ninjas came out of nowhere and started fighting with the newly formed "Brothers of Infamy". Luckily Jick had some light sabers in a bag and he passed them out to the other brothers and they began to kick ass.
Though the battle resulted with all three thousand seven hundred and two ninjas slain, the victory came at high cost as Jick lost both his legs and twenty-nine teeth, theuedimaster lost his right (I think) hand and what was left of his sanity, Gorky was slain (and disappeared into a pile of robes later to come back later as a ghost to bring down theuedimaster's spirits smack dab in the middle of a b*tchen party hosted by Build-a-Bears), and hooker, mistaken for a grenade in the middle of combat, had been hurtled into space by the Master Chief, whom everyone resented afterward for being such a team-killing f***-tard.

[Jick]

Originally posted by gorky
Though the battle resulted with all three thousand seven hundred and two ninjas slain, the victory came at high cost as Jick lost both his legs and twenty-nine teeth, theuedimaster lost his right (I think) hand and what was left of his sanity, Gorky was slain (and disappeared into a pile of robes later to come back later as a ghost to bring down theuedimaster's spirits smack dab in the middle of a b*tchen party hosted by Build-a-Bears), and hooker, mistaken for a grenade in the middle of combat, had been hurtled into space by the Master Chief, whom everyone resented afterward for being such a team-killing f***-tard. And the lord came to Jick and said "Come forth and ye shall receive eternal life" but instead Jick came fifth and got a swift kick in the ass.







Sorry Gorky. I just had to steal that. :P

[jeff_archer7]

Originally posted by Jick
And the lord came to Jick and said "Come forth and ye shall receive eternal life" but instead Jick came fifth and got a swift kick in the ass.

However God reluctantly made a new earth.. placing Charlie and Hooker back on it, life returned to normal, untill......

[Jupac]

Tupac nuked the world

The End. :D

[jeff_archer7]

Originally posted by Jupac
Tupac nuked the world

The End. :D

the end of Tupac that is (again LOL @ him for getting a cap in his arse).... cause it was small and he was a suicide bomber.... charlie and Hooker are fine..

[gorky]

Originally posted by jeff_archer7
the end of Tupac that is (again LOL @ him for getting a cap in his arse).... cause it was small and he was a suicide bomber.... charlie and Hooker are fine..
After burying Gorky's robes they went to a local charity organization and volunteered for the next twelve years of their lives in various third world countries.

EDIT:Sorry smercer, Thanks for the warning

[smercer]

I think this thread has become out of hand. Too much blood and guts, heads being choped off (which is obscene), and now sexual references. And as it says in the Acceptible use policy


from http://www.jupitermedia.com/corporate/privacy/aup.html

You will not use profanity in our forums, and will neither post with language or content that is obscene, sexually oriented, or sexually suggestive nor link to sites that contain such content.


I wish I did not post where I kept them fighting.

[Jick]

Alright... alright... Your making the big man step in now. Let's keep it clean guys.

You dirty boys! You should be ashamed of yourselves. You'd never catch me talking like that... *coughcough* ehem.. :D

[theuedimaster]

Originally posted by smercer
I think this thread has become out of hand. Too much blood and guts, heads being choped off (which is obscene), and now sexual references. And as it says in the Acceptible use policy



I wish I did not post where I kept them fighting.

And the lord came and silenced Smercer, grabbed a cola, and lay down on his lawn chair to watch his minions run around, play, and torture themselves; however, since Charlie and Hooker should of died in the battle, half of their spirit was in the spirit world, while half was in the real world where they were doing work for the poor and needy.

[Daniel T]

Originally posted by theuedimaster
And the lord came and silenced Smercer, grabbed a cola, and lay down on his lawn chair to watch his minions run around, play, and torture themselves; however, since Charlie and Hooker should of died in the battle, half of their spirit was in the spirit world, while half was in the real world where they were doing work for the poor and needy.
(I'm not reading all 97 replies, so I have no idea who Charlie and Hooker are, but oh well...)

The two half-spirits in the spirit world combined to form one super-spirit, who would rule over the spirit world for all eternity.

[scragar]

the two half-spirits in the spirit world combined to form one super-spirit, who would rule over the spirit world for all eternity.

or untill tuesday next week, whichever comes first.

[gorky]

Originally posted by scragar
or untill tuesday next week, whichever comes first.
Back in the physical realm, charlie and hooker were rather depressed, as they were lacking in spirit (pun intended), so they decided to ditch their charity work and go to the nearest bar to fill the emptiness left by their spiritual spirits with liquid ones.

[hooloovoo24]

Originally posted by gorky
Back in the physical realm, charlie and hooker were rather depressed, as they were lacking in spirit (pun intended), so they decided to ditch their charity work and go to the nearest bar to fill the emptiness left by their spiritual spirits with liquid ones.

Just as Charlie finished up his third...uh...liquid spirit... he noticed that there was something rather odd tasting about them, and asked Hooker what he thought.

[Daniel T]

Originally posted by hooloovoo24
Just as Charlie finished up his third...uh...liquid spirit... he noticed that there was something rather odd tasting about them, and asked Hooker what he thought. Charlie and Hooker looked at the labels, and to their demise, found they were drinking non-alcoholic liquid spirits. Not only that, but it seemed as if they were sitting in a gay bar.

[hooloovoo24]

Originally posted by Daniel T
Charlie and Hooker looked at the labels, and to their demise, found they were drinking non-alcoholic liquid spirits. Not only that, but it seemed as if they were sitting in a gay bar.

Charlie screamed in horror, but it was mistaken by the DJ as a request for "La Bamba" and soon Charlie and Hooker were caught up in a terrible, terrible dance of doom.

[gorky]

Originally posted by hooloovoo24
Charlie screamed in horror, but it was mistaken by the DJ as a request for "La Bamba" and soon Charlie and Hooker were caught up in a terrible, terrible dance of doom.
Just as the pulsing crowd threatened to overcome them, they were saved by an elite tactical rescue assault group composed of the highly trained Danny T (on dual MP5's), Scragar (with an M4), Archer (featuring explosives), and Hooloovoo (wielding an array of knives), who quickly and quietly dispersed the mob via hand-to-hand combat.

[hooloovoo24]

Just as the pulsing crowd threatened to overcome them, they were saved by an elite tactical rescue assault group composed of the highly trained Danny T (on dual MP5's), Scragar (with an M4), Archer (featuring explosives), and Hooloovoo (wielding an array of knives), who quickly and quietly dispersed the mob via hand-to-hand combat.

Hooloovoo, being the only girl, and therefore, the only sane and rational one, stopped her knife throwing to think, and in doing so, realized the true reason behind the fighting, so she brought out the alcohol and everyone was happy again.

[gorky]

Originally posted by hooloovoo24
Hooloovoo, being the only girl, and therefore, the only sane and rational one, stopped her knife throwing to think, and in doing so, realized the true reason behind the fighting, so she brought out the alcohol and everyone was happy again.
Charlie, hooker, and the rest of the gang became very, very inebriated.

[Daniel T]

Originally posted by gorky
Charlie, hooker, and the rest of the gang became very, very inebriated. They got so careless, they set down their MP5's, M4's, explosives, and knives to reenact a scene from Queer Eye, upon request from one of the surviving queers at the bar. Danny was the straight guy, of course.

[gorky]

Originally posted by Daniel T
They got so careless, they set down their MP5's, M4's, explosives, and knives to reenact a scene from Queer Eye, upon request from one of the surviving queers at the bar. Danny was the straight guy, of course.
Meanwhile, theuedimaster was at the predicted Build-a-Bear party, having a good time, and hitting on a pink, stuffed teddy, when the ghost of Gorky appeared to say hi, scared away the bear, and caused theued to become depressed.

[Snitchcat]

Originally posted by gorky
Meanwhile, theuedimaster was at the predicted Build-a-Bear party, having a good time, and hitting on a pink, stuffed teddy, when the ghost of Gorky appeared to say hi, scared away the bear, and caused theued to become depressed.

Theued then began having hallucinations about Gorky who was trying to dip his ghostly fingers in permanent black ink.

[theuedimaster]

Originally posted by Snitchcat
Theued then began having hallucinations about Gorky who was trying to dip his ghostly fingers in permanent black ink.
With the only visible part of him being his ink stained hands, Gorkey's appearance convinced the gang that they were high; so, they continued to smoke reefers and uedi continued to build bears.

[gorky]

Originally posted by theuedimaster
With the only visible part of him being his ink stained hands, Gorkey's appearance convinced the gang that they were high; so, they continued to smoke reefers and uedi continued to build bears.
Suddenly and incomprehensibly, a T-Rex appeared and began feasting on the stuffed toys.

[jeff_archer7]

Originally posted by gorky
Suddenly and incomprehensibly, a T-Rex appeared and began feasting on the stuffed toys.

after recieving his fluffy fill he needed a drink, thus heading to the nearest bar, a gay bar on the corner of 5th and vine, where charlie and hooker were enjoying themselves just a little too much.

[Joshua N.]

Originally posted by jeff_archer7
after recieving his fluffy fill he needed a drink, thus heading to the nearest bar, a gay bar on the corner of 5th and vine, where charlie and hooker were enjoying themselves just a little too much.

Suddenly, the gang found themselves transported to the world of Chips Challenge, and a spider monster was rushing towards them!

[gorky]

Originally posted by Joshua N.
Suddenly, the gang found themselves transported to the world of Chips Challenge, and a spider monster was rushing towards them!
:) Ok, that was fricken genius Josh, my hat goes off to you :)


They ran and ran, and then came upon a slippery ice maze-challenge comprised of barriers that involved going up, left, down, left, up, right, up, right, down, and then left to escape from.

[theuedimaster]

Originally posted by gorky
They ran and ran, and then came upon a slippery ice maze-challenge comprised of barriers that involved going up, left, down, left, up, right, up, right, down, and then left to escape from.
Because going up, down, left, or right would continue them on their cyclic journey, they decided to instead go within; therefore, they were transported to the world of the Combine fighting alongside Morgan Freeman in a time period referred only by the words "Half-Life 3"

[hooloovoo24]

Originally posted by theuedimaster
Because going up, down, left, or right would continue them on their cyclic journey, they decided to instead go within; therefore, they were transported to the world of the Combine fighting alongside Morgan Freeman in a time period referred only by the words "Half-Life 3"

At which point they realized that this was all a hallucination brought on by their overconsumption of many many illicit drugs.

[Bluetagpizza]

Originally posted by hooloovoo24
At which point they realized that this was all a hallucination brought on by their overconsumption of many many illicit drugs.

They then tried to carpool back to their homes to sleep off the effects of their hallucinations but the designated driver, Theued, became delirious and firmly believed that a red traffic light meant go.

[hooloovoo24]

Speeding through several stoplights, Theuedi eventually stopped as the car (a Ford Festiva) hit a brick wall, and it and all the people in it were crushed.

[theuedimaster]

Originally posted by hooloovoo24
Speeding through several stoplights, Theuedi eventually stopped as the car (a Ford Festiva) hit a brick wall, and it and all the people in it were crushed.
With all their power combined... they formed Captain Char-hooker!

[gorky]

Originally posted by theuedimaster
With all their power combined... they formed Captain Char-hooker!
With a car chassis for a torso, and a human for each limb, and a tennis ball for a head, Captain Char-hooker is th ultimate combination of high gas consumption, mild depression, alcohol/drugs, psychosis, and a little green/yellow sphere.

[Bluetagpizza]

Originally posted by gorky
With a car chassis for a torso, and a human for each limb, and a tennis ball for a head, Captain Char-hooker is th ultimate combination of high gas consumption, mild depression, alcohol/drugs, psychosis, and a little green/yellow sphere.

He has eyes of fire (bloodshot from the alcohol/drugs), muscles of steel (did somebody say steroids?) and nerves of pure rubber...

[hooloovoo24]

Originally posted by Bluetagpizza
He has eyes of fire (bloodshot from the alcohol/drugs), muscles of steel (did somebody say steroids?) and nerves of pure rubber...

While arguing amongst himself about whether to use his powers for good or evil, Captain Char-hooker was suddenly attacked by a herd of African Elephants!

[Bluetagpizza]

Originally posted by hooloovoo24
While arguing amongst himself about whether to use his powers for good or evil, Captain Char-hooker was suddenly attacked by a herd of African Elephants!

The sudden danger touched off a heated debate among himself: One-forth of him wanted to run towards the elephants, one-forth wanted to take a position next to a nearby car, one-forth wanted to swing over the elephants like Spiderman and one-forth wanted to back quickly away; as each pulled equally and in different directions, Captain Char-hooker stayed firmly planted to the ground.

[gorky]

Originally posted by Bluetagpizza
The sudden danger touched off a heated debate among himself: One-forth of him wanted to run towards the elephants, one-forth wanted to take a position next to a nearby car, one-forth wanted to swing over the elephants like Spiderman and one-forth wanted to back quickly away; as each pulled equally and in different directions, Captain Char-hooker stayed firmly planted to the ground.
Instead of running away they all decided to cut off the elephants tusks, grind them up, and use it as an aphrodisiac, which made them sick, as it's rhino horn, not elepahnt, that improves sexual prowess.

[hooloovoo24]

Originally posted by gorky
Instead of running away they all decided to cut off the elephants tusks, grind them up, and use it as an aphrodisiac, which made them sick, as it's rhino horn, not elepahnt, that improves sexual prowess.

However, when the captain cut off the elephants tusks, they were still alive, and the resulting pain made them even more angry and stampede-ful.

[gorky]

Originally posted by hooloovoo24
However, when the captain cut off the elephants tusks, they were still alive, and the resulting pain made them even more angry and stampede-ful.
Captain Char-hooker hopped a bus for the Grand Canyon, vomiting out the tusk powder along the ride.

[jeff_archer7]

Originally posted by gorky
Captain Char-hooker hopped a bus for the Grand Canyon, vomiting out the tusk powder along the ride.

On arriaval Cpt. Char-hooker (sounds like a burnt prostitute with military background) took in the sight of a big hole in the ground...... thinking to itself 'Meh' he turned around and headed for L.A.

[hooloovoo24]

On arriaval Cpt. Char-hooker (sounds like a burnt prostitute with military background) took in the sight of a big hole in the ground...... thinking to itself 'Meh' he turned around and headed for L.A.

On the way, though, he got sidetracked by a shiny metal object lying in the road.

[gorky]

Originally posted by hooloovoo24
On the way, though, he got sidetracked by a shiny metal object lying in the road.
It was a Swiss Army Spork.

[jeff_archer7]

Originally posted by gorky
It was a Swiss Army Spork.

So he picked it up and continued to LA, thinking 'Hmmmm this Spork will make a fine weapon against Ben R'

[theuedimaster]

Originally posted by jeff_archer7
So he picked it up and continued to LA, thinking 'Hmmmm this Spork will make a fine weapon against Ben R'

"...and the Lord said to Cpt. Char-Hooker, Come forth and ye shall receive eternal life, but instead Cpt. Char-Hooker gave him a spork and was sent to Wisconsin."

[gorky]

Originally posted by theuedimaster
"...and the Lord said to Cpt. Char-Hooker, Come forth and ye shall receive eternal life, but instead Cpt. Char-Hooker gave him a spork and was sent to Wisconsin."
While he was there, Captain Char-hooker went to a Packers game, ate hella cheese, and then got a chain-style steering wheel and a footprint gas-pedal for his torso compartment.

[hooloovoo24]

Originally posted by gorky
While he was there, Captain Char-hooker went to a Packers game, ate hella cheese, and then got a chain-style steering wheel and a footprint gas-pedal for his torso compartment.


And equipped with these new devices, he once again set out for LA

[gorky]

Originally posted by hooloovoo24
And equipped with these new devices, he once again set out for LA
He stopped over one night in Las Vegas and woke up with everybody missing one of their kidneys, with the exception of hooker.

[gorky]

Here's The Story So Far (http://www.streamload.com/Ajman098/Story_So_Far.rtf). Hopefully everyone can view RichText (RTF).

[hooloovoo24]

Originally posted by gorky
He stopped over one night in Las Vegas and woke up with everybody missing one of their kidneys, with the exception of hooker.

Who was tragically left behind at a rest stop in the middle of nowhere.

BTW that is one friggen long story! That's awesome!

[gorky]

Originally posted by hooloovoo24
Who was tragically left behind at a rest stop in the middle of nowhere.

Finally they made it to the edge of LA, rolled up their windows, locked their doors, got out their weapons, and cautiously proceeded inward, where on the way they met Jupac driving in his cousin's SWEET S2000.

Originally posted by hooloovoo24
BTW that is one friggen long story! That's awesome!
I'll update the text about twice daily

[hooloovoo24]

Originally posted by gorky
Finally they made it to the edge of LA, rolled up their windows, locked their doors, got out their weapons, and cautiously proceeded inward, where on the way they met Jupac driving in his cousin's SWEET S2000.


That's when they knew something was wrong, as Jupac had blown himself up about four pages ago...

[gorky]

Originally posted by hooloovoo24
That's when they knew something was wrong, as Jupac had blown himself up about four pages ago...
"Shhh", Jupac said, "I'm really Tupac, pretending to be dead, so my music will sell better," and they teamed up and cruised LA for a while, until something uber-strange happened.

[hooloovoo24]

"Shhh", Jupac said, "I'm really Tupac, pretending to be dead, so my music will sell better," and they teamed up and cruised LA for a while, until something uber-strange happened.

Tupac turned into a blue and yellow penguin.

[Jupac]

Then turned back. Then went to Cuba for some somkes

[hooloovoo24]

Leaving Captain Char hooker to fend for himself in the strange strange world of LA.

[jeff_archer7]

Originally posted by hooloovoo24
Leaving Captain Char hooker to fend for himself in the strange strange world of LA.

"Hey I Know" said captn char-hooker to himselves... lets start a pirate radio station and subvert our government.... We'll make squillions of dollars and be able to make Bill Gates our Biatch

[hooloovoo24]

"Hey I Know" said captn char-hooker to himselves... lets start a pirate radio station and subvert our government.... We'll make squillions of dollars and be able to make Bill Gates our Biatch

sadly bill gates was standing right behind him, rummaging through the dumpster of an electronics store for spare Mac parts, and heard everything (t)he(y) said.

[gorky]

sadly bill gates was standing right behind him, rummaging through the dumpster of an electronics store for spare Mac parts, and heard everything (t)he(y) said.
Fortunately for our heros, they had the knowledge of Bill's "tasting the apple" (biblical, no?) and used it to blackmail him and gain corporate sponsorship.

(The "Message Board Game Story So Far" is now in my sig, and will be updated daily)

[Joshua N.]

Fortunately for our heros, they had the knowledge of Bill's "tasting the apple" (biblical, no?) and used it to blackmail him and gain corporate sponsorship.

They found out that Microsoft had a time machine, and our heros used it to go back to the Jurassic Age.

[jeff_archer7]

They found out that Microsoft had a time machine, and our heros used it to go back to the Jurassic Age.

Once they arrived, our intrepid Hero's donned a leapord skin loin cloth, made a club, and went hunting for treasure.... Subduing a TyranasaurusRex with a hershey bar and a pair of Bill Gates Jocks they now had themselves a trusty Steed on which to ride

[hooloovoo24]

Once they arrived, our intrepid Hero's donned a leapord skin loin cloth, made a club, and went hunting for treasure.... Subduing a TyranasaurusRex with a hershey bar and a pair of Bill Gates Jocks they now had themselves a trusty Steed on which to ride

However, without their knowledge, Billie Gates had stowed himself away on the stolen time machine and suddenly popped up out of nowhere, terrifying the T-Rex and sending him into a stampede-like rampage through the dense prehistoric jungles.

[the tree]

However, without their knowledge, Billie Gates had stowed himself away on the stolen time machine and suddenly popped up out of nowhere, terrifying the T-Rex and sending him into a stampede-like rampage through the dense prehistoric jungles.The T-Rex crashed, Bill then bought up the era and re-named it with an incredibly dull name, so dull that it is not sutible for being posted on the internet.

[scragar]

The T-Rex crashed, Bill then bought up the era and re-named it with an incredibly dull name, so dull that it is not sutible for being posted on the internet.
before long hundreds of people had release open source dino-worlds and billie went out of dino-bussines.

[hooloovoo24]

before long hundreds of people had release open source dino-worlds and billie went out of dino-bussines.

While he was busy plotting his revenge, Captain Char-Hooker took their leave, time-traveling anywhere where bill was not, and ended up in the middle of Europe during the time of the black plague

[rhsunderground]

He walked into a bar and sneezed, instantly stopping all activity in the bar.

[jeff_archer7]

He walked into a bar and sneezed, instantly stopping all activity in the bar.

Looking around Char hooker surveyed the angry eyes watching him, quietly wondering whom he should attack (defend themselves from) first....

[gorky]

Looking around Char hooker surveyed the angry eyes watching him, quietly wondering whom he should attack (defend themselves from) first....
This did not bode well for our intrepid heroes, but luckily, in the nick of time, they were joined by an English peasant bar-maid with wooden teeth, and huge muscles with which to defend the ground with; after doing so she turned to the group and said...

[jeff_archer7]

after dis guv'ner, we can ave kippers wit our brekky (bad ****ney accent) right'o' den lads lets get to it den. with that she picked up a pool table throwing it across the room at some surley looking gents sitting (now lying) in the corner.. IT was all on

[gorky]

after dis guv'ner, we can ave kippers wit our brekky (bad ****ney accent) right'o' den lads lets get to it den. with that she picked up a pool table throwing it across the room at some surley looking gents sitting (now lying) in the corner.. IT was all on
Before the story could profess any further, Blob woke up, in a pool of his own drool, pock-marked with "keyboard-face", next to a half-eaten sandwich and a bottle of experimental 'Gulp', by his rather PO'ed boss, at his desk in the offices of Google; yes, our hero was only dreaming, and is (or really 'was' as his employment was terminated on account of a combination of laziness and a rare, smelly tropical foot-fungus) an employee of the uber-cool Google Incorporated.

[scragar]

not a part to the story
you can write words like cockney without it replacing the stars if you know the acsii, such is the flaw of the human mind.
a part to the story
Before the story could profess any further, Blob woke up, in a pool of his own drool, pock-marked with "keyboard-face", next to a half-eaten sandwich and a bottle of experimental 'Gulp', by his rather PO'ed boss, at his desk in the offices of Google; yes, our hero was only dreaming, and is (or really 'was' as his employment was terminated on account of a combination of laziness and a rare, smelly tropical foot-fungus) an employee of the uber-cool Google Incorporated.
after a short time atempting to get to his feat he stubbed his toe and awoke(he was dreaming he awoke the first time...).

[hooloovoo24]

after a short time atempting to get to his feat he stubbed his toe and awoke(he was dreaming he awoke the first time...).

And he found that he was not Blob, but Bob after all, the average, thoroughly boring man from the beginning of the story.

[jeff_archer7]

the end....... thank God

[Joshua N.]

the end....... thank God

but God got angry at being bothered so many times that he turned Bob into a potato and realized that the inevitable was about to happen...

[gorky]

but God got angry at being bothered so many times that he turned Bob into a potato and realized that the inevitable was about to happen...
Inevitably, he was baked and placed in the chest cavity of a little boy similar in appearance to Jick from long ago, where a donor heart SHOULD have gone instead, and he then exploded, killing the poor child like a scene out of some horrible movie :), and then bob was reincarnated into a pimp, and his name was changed from Bob to Jamal Shabazz by God as he was bored with the older title.

FunFact: Jamal Shabazz was the name my parents called me for the first 6 weeks of my life, as they couldn't decide on a name for me.

[theuedimaster]

Inevitably, he was baked and placed in the chest cavity of a little boy similar in appearance to Jick from long ago, where a donor heart SHOULD have gone instead, and he then exploded, killing the poor child like a scene out of some horrible movie , and then bob was reincarnated into a pimp, and his name was changed from Bob to Jamal Shabazz by God as he was bored with the older title.

God said to John, "Come forth and recieve some pimp juice for ye mortal body", but instead John came first and sent him to Satan who took away his......tool. ;)

[Nevermore]

God said to John, "Come forth and recieve some pimp juice for ye mortal body", but instead John came first and sent him to Satan who took away his......tool. ;)

Meanwhile, in a small rogue state not appearing on any map, but widely believed to lie between China and Kyrghyzstan, a sleepy dictator let out a long snore and slumped onto a large, red button marked "Fire Nuclear Missiles".

[BigMoosie]

The End

[dragonfighter60]

The End

Or so we think.

[Nevermore]

Or so we think.

Because, in a laboratory somewhere in the deepest, darkest part of the Congo jungle, a mad scientist is formulating a new storyline.

[gorky]

Because, in a laboratory somewhere in the deepest, darkest part of the Congo jungle, a mad scientist is formulating a new storyline.
One that didn't include the vicious plotholes, and pitiful assassination attempts on the main characters, about two rhesus monkeys, named Wingus and Dingus, and their wacky yet informative adventures across the globe.

[hooloovoo24]

One that didn't include the vicious plotholes, and pitiful assassination attempts on the main characters, about two rhesus monkeys, named Wingus and Dingus, and their wacky yet informative adventures across the globe.

The mad scientist tried to sell his storyline to all the major television stations, but in the end the only one who would take it was PBS.

[Nevermore]

The mad scientist tried to sell his storyline to all the major television stations, but in the end the only one who would take it was PBS.
Fortunately a privately owned message board adopted the story; they fed it, clothed it and nurtured it, until eventually it emerged as a beautiful butterfly.

[gorky]

Fortunately a privately owned message board adopted the story; they fed it, clothed it and nurtured it, until eventually it emerged as a beautiful butterfly.
No ordinairy butterfly this one was, but rather the prophecized king the the butterfly throne, SteelWing, heir to the Monarch Dynasty, Conquerer of the Moths, who was foretold as he who finally brings balance to nature by, of course, erradicating all seagulls from the Earth.

[theuedimaster]

No ordinairy butterfly this one was, but rather the prophecized king the the butterfly throne, SteelWing, heir to the Monarch Dynasty, Conquerer of the Moths, who was foretold as he who finally brings balance to nature by, of course, erradicating all seagulls from the Earth.

Then all things fell silent on the western front, and the germans invaded france again.

[gorky]

Then all things fell silent on the western front, and the germans invaded france again.
Battle raged as man was pitted against man, and butterfly was pitted against seagull.

[hooloovoo24]

Battle raged as man was pitted against man, and butterfly was pitted against seagull.

Sadly, it seemed the Seagulls had a slight advantage over the butterflies, what with their sharp talons and their natural taste for blood, plus the overwhelming desire to live up to the fame of the movie "The Birds".

[Nevermore]

Sadly, it seemed the Seagulls had a slight advantage over the butterflies, what with their sharp talons and their natural taste for blood, plus the overwhelming desire to live up to the fame of the movie "The Birds".

At least until the butterflies unveiled the weapon they'd been keeping secret for thousands of years: wing mounted air-to-air missiles.

[dragonfighter60]

And as the missiles started flying, the humans watched in terror thinking the missiles were directed at their airplanes, therefore returning the volley of explosive warheads.

[Joshua N.]

And as the missiles started flying, the humans watched in terror thinking the missiles were directed at their airplanes, therefore returning the volley of explosive warheads.

The butterflys returned fire and revealed yet another one of their secret weapons... the power rangers...

[theuedimaster]

The butterflys returned fire and revealed yet another one of their secret weapons... the power rangers...

With their powers combined, the power rangers and the butterflys merged into one, creating a dominating air and land dwelling man-insect beast.

[Nevermore]

At this point, everything was destroyed and a new, less ridiculous story was started, involving peanuts.

[gorky]

At this point, everything was destroyed and a new, less ridiculous story was started, involving peanuts.
Slowly, insidiously, the peanut-people spaceship loomed over the Earth, watching, calculating, and preparing...

[Nevermore]

Slowly, insidiously, the peanut-people spaceship loomed over the Earth, watching, calculating, and preparing...

...for the Unreal Tournament 2004 championship - fortunately, a player called Nevermore defeated them all and saved Earth.

[gorky]

...for the Unreal Tournament 2004 championship - fortunately, a player called Nevermore defeated them all and saved Earth.
And for a time, things were good.

[hooloovoo24]

And for a time, things were good.
Until the peanut people, angered and driven insane by their loss at the Unreal Tournament, came back for revenge.

[gorky]

Until the peanut people, angered and driven insane by their loss at the Unreal Tournament, came back for revenge.
Rather than give us their elixir for eternal life as they had been originally planning when we defeated them, they began enslaving portions of the Earth, starting with Switzerland, moving on to France, next to Madagascar, so on and so forth until all that was left were the continents of Austrailia, Antarctica, Both Americas, and isolated sections of the North Atlantic Islands; all standing in their way was an elite task force of peanut-eating baseball fans, who though they fought visciously, tooth and claw, were losing the battle; disaster seemed iminent; it was time for a hero to be born.

[Nevermore]

Rather than give us their elixir for eternal life as they had been originally planning when we defeated them, they began enslaving portions of the Earth, starting with Switzerland, moving on to France, next to Madagascar, so on and so forth until all that was left were the continents of Austrailia, Antarctica, Both Americas, and isolated sections of the North Atlantic Islands; all standing in their way was an elite task force of peanut-eating baseball fans, who though they fought visciously, tooth and claw, were losing the battle; disaster seemed iminent; it was time for a hero to be born.

A hero that was to be found in Nelly the Elephant.

[gorky]

A hero that was to be found in Nelly the Elephant.
Nelly quickly realized she couldn't defeat the peanut threat alone, she needed a crack team of elite scientist, military operatives, and monkeys with typewriters to keep our hero's story alive.

[hooloovoo24]

Nelly quickly realized she couldn't defeat the peanut threat alone, she needed a crack team of elite scientist, military operatives, and monkeys with typewriters to keep our hero's story alive.
She quickly gathered her team and they moved forward to attack the evil peanuts, who by this time had taken over the white house and were well on their way to world domination.

[Joshua N.]

She quickly gathered her team and they moved forward to attack the evil peanuts, who by this time had taken over the white house and were well on their way to world domination.

Then Barbar the elephant king came and ate all the peanuts, but right when he was about to declare victory, he forgot that...

[Nevermore]

Then Barbar the elephant king came and ate all the peanuts, but right when he was about to declare victory, he forgot that...

...Elephants can't speak.

[theuedimaster]

...Elephants can't speak.

Instead, a talking mouse nearby claimed all the credit, throwing the elephant species on a rampage.

[gorky]

Instead, a talking mouse nearby claimed all the credit, throwing the elephant species on a rampage.
Chaos ensued, so Nelly decided to catch a flight to Canada.

[jeff_archer7]

Chaos ensued, so Nelly decided to catch a flight to Canada.

Realising the folly of going to canada, nelly quickly switched planes and went to Kenya, Nelly knew some old friends of hers were starting a militia group hell bent on overthrowing the world

[hooloovoo24]

Realising the folly of going to canada, nelly quickly switched planes and went to Kenya, Nelly knew some old friends of hers were starting a militia group hell bent on overthrowing the world

Then Nelly realized why she didn't hang out with these 'friends' anymore, and quickly resumed her expedition to Canada.

[Nevermore]

Then Nelly realized why she didn't hang out with these 'friends' anymore, and quickly resumed her expedition to Canada.

Unfortunately, here plane was lost in the Bermuda Triangle, never to be recovered, and Nelly was sucked away to... wherever the Bermuda Triangle takes things.

[theuedimaster]

Unfortunately, here plane was lost in the Bermuda Triangle, never to be recovered, and Nelly was sucked away to... wherever the Bermuda Triangle takes things.

Meanwhile, a group of 30 year olds were drinking beer, playing halo 2, and whining about how they didn't have any girlfriends...

[hooloovoo24]

Meanwhile, a group of 30 year olds were drinking beer, playing halo 2, and whining about how they didn't have any girlfriends...

Bill, whose house they were at, had to send them all home, though, because his mom came in and told him it was time for bed.

[Nevermore]

Bill, whose house they were at, had to send them all home, though, because his mom came in and told him it was time for bed.

However, they got irritated and killed her by tying her up and forcing her to eat three tons of carrots.

[hooloovoo24]

However, they got irritated and killed her by tying her up and forcing her to eat three tons of carrots.

Her ghost later came back to haunt them as they were searching the internet for dates.

[theuedimaster]

Her ghost later came back to haunt them as they were searching the internet for dates.
She said, "Bill, because you killed me, your date will turn out to be a man-woman"; and sure enough, his online date turned out to have a tool.

[scragar]

She said, "Bill, because you killed me, your date will turn out to be a man-woman"; and sure enough, his online date turned out to have a tool.
that was directly stolen from john earlier in this story by satan.

[dragonfighter60]

So the man-woman, spawned by satan, tried to devour the guys' souls.

[Toast]

So the man-woman, spawned by satan, tried to devour the guys' souls.

But courage would prevail and these souls would not be defeated

[scragar]

But courage would prevail and these souls would not be defeatedafter about 3 weeks running trying to avoid having his soul eaten he eventualy colapsed, and awoke at the entrence to the underworld, where satan sat on a high chair petting a 3 headed dog...

[gorky]

after about 3 weeks running trying to avoid having his soul eaten he eventualy colapsed, and awoke at the entrence to the underworld, where satan sat on a high chair petting a 3 headed dog...
And before him was the river Styx, feared for it's eternal rendition of "Come Sail Away", that caused your ears to bleed after only three choruses.

[hooloovoo24]

He was surprised at how unlike L.A. everything was.

[hooloovoo24]

And that, apparently, was the end.

[the tree]

And that, apparently, was the end.But nothing is as it seems, and a large green uberpea was just about to burst from under the tarmac...

[Joshua N.]

But nothing is as it seems, and a large green uberpea was just about to burst from under the tarmac...

With a loud explosion, thousands of Flood warrior forms from Halo rushed from the ground they took over the underworld and drove out hades..however, they were unsuspecting of the...

[hooloovoo24]

With a loud explosion, thousands of Flood warrior forms from Halo rushed from the ground they took over the underworld and drove out hades..however, they were unsuspecting of the...

hyper-intelligent mice who were just waiting for them to try something funny.