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So I solved this, sort-of.

I ended up writing a C# program in Linux using mono that takes a single argument (oldString in the function above) and returns newString to the console. To get the value...

I need to convert a single line of code from .NET to PHP. I'm hoping that there is a .NET developer here that also knows PHP. Since I don't know .NET, I'm not even sure where I can find relevant...