I tirelessly searched Google to no avail, this place is usually my last resort. Thanks for your help though. As it turns out, after some fiddling, what I actually needed was this.
What you've suggested seems to act as ?p=foo/bar/ which adds an extra, empty value to the array ([0]=>'foo', [1]=>'bar', [2]=>''), unlike what I had before which left...
I'm just recovering from reformatting my computer and it turns out I forgot to backup my backups, and the inevitable happened. I accidentally overwrote my .htaccess file which for the life of me I...