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Thread: Struggling with PHP. bad tutor, need sexy online lessons

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2012

    Struggling with PHP. bad tutor, need sexy online lessons

    Hey guys,

    I need some online resources for learning php. I'm basically looking for a substitute for a crappy tutor I currently have.

    I need something to guide me through the world of php in a way that resembles being gently rowed through the streets of venice in a godola. I'm only willing/able to apply 13% of my attention to this web stuff (seriously, I drive myself nuts trying to pay attention to this stuff) so it needs to be engaging and have lots of repetition and emphasis on important parts. It needs to start from the very beginning (i.e. what the hell is it and what is its purpose?) and take me right through to the bare minimum amount knowledge required to fake it and pass the serverside module of my course.

    To explain my poor attitude, I'm a graphic design graduate, a musician, and a generally creative person. After not having heaps of luck getting work in the competetive graphic design industry (admittedly I never worked THAT hard at it, I had a few freelance jobs) I decided that being a web developer was a perfect compromise between my creativity and job stability, and would impress my parents. Plus I used to mess around with BASIC as a kid, programming would be a breeze, I'd probably even enjoy it! .... How wrong I was, I really really struggle to pay attention to this stuff, totally opposite to my work ethic with graphic design and all things creative (i.e. staying up till 4am working, obsessing over ideas/concepts etc).

    The last modules were fine, HTML and CSS were pretty easy, I didn't pay a lot of attention but I got it anyway. Javascript was quite a bit more complex, I didn't learn much, I spent most of the classes editing a music video for my band (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s9lIR2tbcIg). But we had a fantastic tutor, I was able to pick up enough little bits to get a grasp of it and enough knowledge to pass my assignment with flying colors.

    We started the serverside module one week ago, this stuff is way more difficult, and to make matters worse we have a new tutor who seriously sucks! Her teaching style is terrible, she rushes through everything, has an accent that takes a bit of work to understand and she always has an uncomfortable demeanor. So now... #attention span {width: -99999px;}

    I had a bit of a breakdown this week (e.g. "holy **** I've made a terrible decision doing this course, there's no way I can do this, I need to change courses") and had been talking to people about switching courses. I've now learned that if I withdraw from this course there's no way to 'transfer fees' so I'd be throwing thousands of dollars down the drain. What I'm more concerned about is that if I withdraw from the course or fail more than 50% I will lose my future eligibility for student funding, and will basically stuff up the chance to study in the future (which I've now decided I want to do in further pursuit of a creative career).

    So there it is, that's why I'm only looking to scrape by. I don't think I'm capable of REALLY applying myself. Best case scenario pass, worst case (but still okay by me) only pass 50% of the course.

    What I'm hoping for is a link to a set of really engaging video lessons, I'm picturing scantily dressed blondes writing code on each others bodies while explaining syntax, with fireworks exploding and dolphins jumping through flaming hoops in the background, but anything you deem helpful would be appreciated, thanks!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    I personally think you need to spend some time wondering where your next meal will come from and how on earth will you afford to pay your share of the rent.

    That sort of thing will focus your mind wonderfully!

    Seriously as you get older, learning becomes easier as you experience life more, both ups and downs..

    Perhaps hard work isnt for you?
    Try going around problems and learning just a little bit each day. Set SMALL tasks for yourself. Continually be on your OWN case when you slack off.

    Spend the rest of your time packing super market shelves, in itself a great motivator to learn skills!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    No great suggestions here, but a little encouragement: in the software engineering department where I work, of the 9 developers, one was an art major and two (including yours truly) were music majors. So it can be done, but you do need to have some interest in it: if you do, then you'll find yourself reading through this and similar forums, reading manual pages at php.net, playing around with ideas you have for things to try, and so forth.

    If, on the other hand, such things seem like drudgery to you and a big bother, then there's not a lot of reason to expect it will get a lot better -- though admittedly anything is better once you get past the beginner stage (just think what it was like to start learning a musical instrument when you could barely make a musical sound with it). In the end, though, every good programmer I've known has had a built-in curiosity about it and is always poking around the 'net looking for answer, new ideas, latest trends, and so forth -- not waiting for someone to teach them (though it certainly does help if you can luck into a really good teacher or mentor along the way, mind you).
    "Well done....Consciousness to sarcasm in five seconds!" ~ Terry Pratchett, Night Watch

    How to Ask Questions the Smart Way (not affiliated with this site, but well worth reading)

    My Blog
    cwrBlog: simple, no-database PHP blogging framework

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Okay, I am 15 and have self Thought myself some PHP, Its Not That Hard To Figure out How To Learn it, 1st You Find Some "Fill" (Something You Want the website to be about), Then You Go To Google, or YouTube, And Start From The Beginning, I will Make it Easy And Tell You Some Stuff About It--- PHP Is A Recursive Acronym-Meaning it Contains Its self, so php=php hypertext preprocessor.. or fully php=personal home page hypertext preprocessor--- To Make A Website you need a body langauge this is where HTML Comes In You Design the look setup and things like italics exd
       <tr width="750"><td width="750">
        This Is Some Content
    Then So Now You Have A Body With Underware On, Lets Give It Some Clothes, This Is Where CSS Comes in,
           background-color: black;
           color: RED;
    Now You Have On Clothes But You Cannot Do AnyThing But Tell Info, Lets Fix this with Javascript
    <script>//I wont Put any script cuss you asked for php...</script>..
    So Where Does PHP Fit In?
    I Will tell you, Javascript What We Just Did Is Called Client Side Scripting Because the viewer of the website's computer runs the code, but php is called Sever side Scripting, the sever that the website is located is running the code, so if you want to put passwords in a more harder to hack location use php, (to make it really hard to hack use a database)....
    Here is Some PHP
    PHP Code:
    /*This Is A comment
    it can be several lines*/
    //This Is A Comment can only be one line
    #This is a comment can only be one line
    echo"This will show us html or plain text exd....";
    //the include will grab hi.php from folder hi
    if you want more PM Me

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2012

    I think this link would be helpful for you, http://www.tizag.com/. This website is basically meant for beginners ...

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