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Thread: What's your best joke?

  1. #526
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Location
    Manchester, UK
    Posts
    6,276
    Quote Originally Posted by chestertb View Post
    David, you're not singing.
    Come on. SIng it with me.
    Somewhere over the rainbow...
    Where pies are blue???
    Every fight is a food fight when you’re a cannibal.

  2. #527
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Los Angeles, CA
    Posts
    4,887
    Chinese Proverbs

    Man who run in front of car get tired.

    Man who run behind car get exhausted.

    Man with one chopstick go hungry.

    Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.

    War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.

    Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

    Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.

    Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

    Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement!

    Crowded elevator smell different to midget.

  3. #528
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Los Angeles, CA
    Posts
    4,887
    "My wife has the worst memory."
    "Forgets everything, eh?"
    "No, remembers everything."

    ~~~~~~~~~~

    Rabbi Stern rides his bike down the road, when a truck
    careens around the corner, out of control, and
    broadsides the Rabbi.Father Flannery watches this event
    unfold, and as he runs toward the Rabbi, he notices that
    Rabbi Stern first touches his forehead, then his
    stomach, then each shoulder. As Father Flannery
    reaches the Rabbi, he kneels and makes the sign of
    the cross himself."Rabbi, I notice that you crossed
    yourself after getting up from the accident. It's a
    miracle, must be! Have you seen the light? Do you
    believe, man?""Aw, heck no!" replied Rabbi Stern,
    "I was just checking.""Checking? Checking for what?"
    Rabbi Stern begins the ritual again, and follows each
    movement with: "Spectacles... Testicles... Wallet... Watch

    ~~~~~~~~~~

    Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff.
    http://instantrimshot.com/

  4. #529
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Grantham, UK
    Posts
    103

    Charity

    I went to a charity event last night for women with no legs......


    The floor was crawling with fanny!

  5. #530
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    XYZZY - UK
    Posts
    1,760
    Internet Explorer. (I don't think I need to explain that one.)

  6. #531
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Melbourne, Australia
    Posts
    160

    Too True

    Quote Originally Posted by Robert Wellock View Post
    Internet Explorer. (I don't think I need to explain that one.)
    HAHAHA! No you don't, could we add Vista to that? funny as...

  7. #532
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Posts
    213
    ROFL @ Ultimator! That's great stuff!

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