I completely understand ya, honestly.
Please note the rhetorical question that follows is not intended to be patronizing in any way and has nothing to do with the posted solution. I happen to develop for the government and was taught to always at least consider a way to gracefully degrade site functionality if client side scripting is disabled. This doesn't mean I can work around it 100% of the time, it simply means I consider this during the design phase. Much like Section 508 compliancy for accessibility has best practice recommendations, actually one of them happens to be about no reliance on client side scripting. In the real world, we all know perfection is unattainable. But with that said, here is my question:
This is an intellectual exercise just to get you thinking about the original design.
No need for you or anyone to reply, but comments welcomed if you feel the need.