Your designs are pretty good, and I really loved the image and color scheme on your home site. [Might want to get a DOCTYPE on it, tho.] I think what you've noticed is dated is your style of coding:
-image maps for links
For us dinosaur dial-up users, these sliced layouts take too much patience...
have you ever done layouts that separate style from content using css? I think that's where you need to go if you want to stay more 'current'.
A lot of designers nowadays seem to be going minimal - instead of tightly controlling the look via pics for fonts and tables for organization - they utilize what can be done more cleanly with fonts, css, etc.
Ness was right about that flash - your preloader math could use a /100 to prevent having a 20-decimal point percentage - and 2MB is HUGE. Have you tried loading external .swf's with your video, big images, etc. to cut down the initial wait time?